Then came Phoenix

Normally I'm not such a big fan of Phoenix, as I tend to melt in temperatures over ninety, but Thursday was an absolutely beautiful day and compared to rainy San Jose and chilly Los Angeles, not having to wear a sweater was a welcome change.

The night before I'd sat in a classroom with people far more intelligent than me.  I recognized their superior intellect, because they would use words like 'colloquialism,' 'algorithms,' and 'conceptualize' in sentences that were long and their thoughts were expressed in paragraphs instead of blurbs.  Since I'm a blurber, I didn't join in much.  One of them tried to use the word 'problematize' but was denied on the grounds that it wasn't a real word.  I, not knowing any better, was wisely silent.

We had to write a scene in class that involved an alien, but since I had had only three hours sleep the night before and had flown to San Jose and back, my brain wasn't working in an socially acceptable fashion.  I chose "Space Opera" as my theme and here is what I wrote:

  Tom pointed his plasma ray at the wall and fired.
  "Seriously, Tom!" Vega shouted over the din.  "You can't kill them that way."
  "I'm not trying to kill them.  I just want them to GET OFF MY SHIP!"  Each word was punctuated by a blast into the same wall.
  "You can't make me go," said a million different voices from all around the command room.
  "Gah," Tom said rubbing his arms.  "It's like ants, all over me.  I can't take it."
  Vega sighed and flopped down in the captain's chair.  "Only three more shuttle stops and we can ditch them.  Don't forget, it was your idea to help them."
  "I didn't want to help them," Tom said, still pacing.  "I wanted to help Marina."
  Vega rolled her eyes.
  Tom shot again at the wall.  Screams erupted around the command room and a huge vid screen peeled from its fastenings with a hideous creak and smashed to the floor.
  "Wasn't there only one?" Tom asked.  "How did they become millions?"
  "If I knew that, I'd be a scientist and not a ship pilot.  But," Vega said, preventing Tom from continuing his rant.  "It might have something to do with the fact that you OPENED THE CAGE WHEN MARINA SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO!"
  Tom kicked the fallen vid screen.  "It sounded pathetic and it had those eyes, bug eyes."  He kicked the screen again.  "And now there are millions of them.  And they're talking.  How is that possible?"
  Vega shrugged.  "Maybe they learned it listening to you.  I'm surprised they haven't started swearing."
  "They don't even have mouths!" Tom protested.


I made the mistake of looking up when the instructor was looking for volunteers to read their scene.  I'm happy to say we were all laughing when I was done.