I have to get something off of my chest. For many years my husband and I have referred to NASCAR racers by nicknames. In the privacy of our own home we applied names such as Mr. Poopy Pants and The Bug Eyed Freak to certain drivers. One nickname was simply "Ward Burton" (you had to say it without opening or moving your lips). I'm opening up about this not because I feel bad about it, but because I feel like sharing.
This new propensity to share has everything to do with the gas wafting about my house. My office is in the washroom, only a few feet away from a leaking pipe (a leak I noticed this morning after returning from a three day Houston trip. Me: Do you smell gas? Husband: No.) But there was gas. He found the leak by spraying Windex on the pipe (I think that's a redneck technique, but I can't be sure since he uses Windex to kill ants too).
About an hour into my day I panicked and opened up all the windows, determined to avoid a whole house explosion. The wind blew through the house whipping papers, magazines, flower pots and anything that wasn't tied down flying all over the floor. The blinds slapped noisily against the frames and the dogs were hunkered down around my feet quivering with fear. But I wasn't about to close things up. I've seen the episode of NCIS when Ziva's apartment blows up. That was bad.
About four o'clock I was finding everything funny and sent out heartfelt thank you e-mails to people I hadn't spoken with in a while. I backed up my computers, paid the bills, put all of my dirty clothes in the hamper. I also had a headache and my cheeks were pink. I sent an inflammatory text to a friend whose basketball team had just missed getting into the NCAA tournament. She wasn't happy and responded by saying I could not be a member of her club. WHAT CLUB?!!
My husband fixed the leak this evening using something called pipe dope. The man at the hardware store said he had a leak in his house too, but that he didn't have the time to move the washer to get at the leak. I think my husband fixed ours mostly to avoid MY DECENT INTO MADNESS.
I forgot to tell you that the gas man checks for leaks with soapy (dish) water and looks for bubbles. Windex is what the dad in the Greek Wedding movie used for pimples and everything else. It does take care of ants, though. Mom :)
ReplyDeleteAnything that will make bubbles, Windex, Bubble Bath, dish soap and of course a bubble wand. I can smell gas and my wife cannot. I get headaches with gas leaks and my wife does not. I spray Windex on my shoulder when it aches; it is a old Mexican recipe my grandfather brought over from his Hacienda in Mexico. Cinnamon and chalk take care of ants. Pam takes care of spiders (they can't breath).
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