You are a loon. I love you - because I have to - but please listen to what I am about to say...and take notes, because your memory is like an overused sifter - cloggy and ineffective.
First - Calm the f*&^ down. Seriously. You freak out over the tiniest thing. Cut it out.
Next - Dress better. Take yourself to a store and bring someone who cares, but not someone who cares so much they can't be honest. Honesty is key here. CRAVE IT! And lay out some dollar bills. You might need to spend more then twenty dollars on a shirt that doesn't make you look like a maternity model or a mid-life crisis - yes, I got a tattoo - no, I'm not trying to re-live the seventies - mother of two...you freaking cheapskate.
Finally - Just because you are right (and we know you are right more often than you are wrong) that doesn't mean you should feel threatened by every living creature who ever lived and has an opinion that differs from your own. Yes, I agree with you that the History Channel is run by men who believe that the only women in the past were whores with a heart of gold or toothless housemaids slaving in the kitchens. BUT STOP OBSESSING ABOUT IT! Just watch the show, drink a beer, put a heating pad on your feet and inhale a bowl of popcorn. CHILL!
It will all be okay.
Love,
Me
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