Month by Month...

2012-02-23T19:35:00.000-08:00

What happened to February? If time were speeding up, would we know it? Probably not.
I am certain that I will finish the third book in the Rialto series prior to June, but will that give me enough time to edit it properly? Doubtful. It seems like each day passes faster than the one before it. At the rate this year is going when I wake up tomorrow it will be Christmas again.
Tonight at dinner Sarah exclaimed that she was suffering from a disease that caused her hands and feet to be ice cold. I prescribed socks.

Colorado - Front Range and roiling clouds of fury.

Happy Valentines Day to my family

2012-02-14T20:31:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines day...especially to my sisters and mom. Traditions...this one was one of the most precious.

Where am I?

2012-02-10T20:54:00.000-08:00

I'm at the point in the book where it makes more sense to go back and read as a reader than it does to continue forward as a writer. Problem is I can't read as a reader. I read as an editor - missing words, smoother sentences, entrances, exits, why is he saying what he is saying, why is he there at all, what the hell does Skipper want in this scene, Sam for goodness sake stop think talking...

So I go forward, then back, then forward, then wonder why I'm confused.

Then I pause to write a scene that continues the terrible tension between Sam and Ben, because it is fun.

Bottom line, I'm taking this as a cue that the next in-between scene needs to be written. This one is called Block and Tackle. There will be bruises and possibly a visit to the emergency room.

Time for more I'm a fan of...

2012-02-09T19:15:00.000-08:00

My favorite Tony monologue happens in the "Iced" episode of NCIS. It's in the last ten minutes. "Tony backward is Y-Not."

Today I toured Sarah's high school and was impressed with the amount of programs available for the kids, the one on one attention, the idea of "choice." Basically, I spent the entire time wishing my high school experience had been like that. I also mentally took stock of my own desire to dress like a teenager. The time has come for me to give up on skirts above my knee, knitted berets, and bracelet stacks.

Love meeting with my writer friends, but don't enjoy how far away UCLA is. I read today about a woman who started her own writers' group. I'm contemplating starting one. Could be fun.

Pink Unicorns with Sparkles

2012-02-03T20:51:00.000-08:00

Fun times with friends at Disneyland...oh, and work too.

On the way to dinner at my mother's last night Jake, Sarah and I sang loudly to the wiggle part of "I'm Sexy and I Know It." Sarah explained that if I ever saw the video my brain would melt and I would no longer enjoy the song. Since I would have to go way out of my way to see the video I think my mind is fairly safe. But just in case, I'm going to close my eyes whenever I hear it (but only if I'm not driving, cause that would be ridiculous).

On that same drive we discussed what we would name our respective football teams. I don't remember mine, but wrote down Sarah's - Pink Unicorns with Sparkles.

Perfect.

Midpoint

2012-01-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

I've reached the midpoint of March. At this point I'd like to pause and add some more delicious detail to my science fiction book, but I know that the correct path is to plow on, pushing through, past the scary hard to write scenes. If the other two books are any indication (and that observation may be highly suspect) the second half should start to pour out and take on a life of its own.

Hotels...

2012-01-26T21:25:00.000-08:00

Routine - Enter room, find place to open suitcase, open suitcase, remove all toiletry items and clothes for next day, resist the temptation to turn on the television (because we all know what will happen once the television is on), remove all work items from backpack, plug in phone, resist turning on the television once again, fail resisting and turn on the television, turn away fifteen minutes later realizing legs are now sore from being frozen in place as I channel surfed testing each channel for approximately two minutes before pressing the oddly slow channel change button, curse myself for losing fifteen minutes of valuable work time, am annoyed by the fact that because of traveling all day I have to work late to catch up (since I'm traveling for work, this is especially aggravating, and oddly embarrassing and it is mainly caused by my inability to stay awake on planes), work...with television on (which means it will take twice as long), talk to family on phone, iron clothes for tomorrow, realize it is late and I should go to bed because I have to wake up obscenely early, set alarm...zzzzzzzz

David Hewlett

2012-01-25T21:58:00.000-08:00

I'm a big fan of David Hewlett. Not a horror movie fan (except for Aliens, the second, not the first. Named my hatchback after James Cameron...should have named it after Hudson, but didn't want it to be a goofball coward then heroically charge to it's death. The scene where Hicks is teaching Ripley how to shoot the gun...sigh) so I haven't seen Hewlett's movies, but thought he was one of the best things about Stargate Atlantis. Miss that show. Anyway, I loved this and wanted to share.

Field Trip Day

2012-01-24T21:07:00.000-08:00

I am in a space museum...squee...

The little blurry yellow sign says "Rover Xing."

The latest Mars Rover - Mark your calendars - August 5th!! Is it just me or does the giant eye remind you of Wall-E?

The lights dimmed, the curtain opened and Harrison Ford started speaking. JPL's movie at the start of the tour was like magic dipped in chocolate. Who better to narrate a trip around our solar system than Han Solo who rocked my universe for several years? No one.

Our tour guide was fantastic. When a fifth grader asks you about terraforming Mars and you are able to launch into a dynamic explanation of how robots in space may make that a reality AND keep all ten-year-old-ears locked on your every word, then you deserve a giant golden star. She made the tour for me.

Then again, anything short of verbal assaults, would fail to ruin my mood at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. I'm like the bouncy airbag surface of the first two rovers before they landed on Mars. (Note - The latest rover won't use balloons to land. It will have a jet pack. JET PACK!)

Upon entering the Mission Control building (a room that has been inhabited 24/7 since 1964) I could hear the soundtrack to Star Wars playing in my head. Then Captain Picard's voice - and then weirdly Buzz Lightyear (To infinity and beyond). I was unable to sit. Just stood and took pictures over everyone's head of whatever it was they were showing on the screens. I didn't care. IT WAS SPACE!

I wonder if Jake's teacher will let me go every year with him...one can dream.

The man on the plane

2012-01-20T21:58:00.000-08:00

Flew to New Orleans this week. Not for fun. The day included four plane flights, the longest of which was the last - Houston to LAX.

I was comforted when one of the stewardesses said the flight would not be full. I was guaranteed at least one seat between me and another human being. The day had not been good. I needed the space.

An man who I think might have been a James Patterson impersonator...or Nero Wolfe...sat in the aisle a seat away from me. He was large, had a white beard and mustache and read a Brad Thor book the entire flight. He brought a pizza on board with him and ate it before we took off. When the flight attendant came by with snacks he grabbed several. He had a running tab for wine.

All of that would have been fine. I have eyelids. I can close them.

But he also took off his shoes and burped frequently, as if there was no one else on the plane. I'm absolutely positive I was seeing him as he is naturally, on a Sunday night, when no one is watching. I have never witnessed anything like it. And I will pay good money to never have to again.

2012-01-18T21:39:00.000-08:00

My sister's were both born in January. I love them. A lot.

Soon, there will be one more little one to add to the picture above. AND I WILL SPOIL IT BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF ACCEPTABLE AUNTIE BEHAVIOR.

Sunday Smile

2012-01-15T19:42:00.000-08:00

Love them.

Moments

2012-01-14T19:41:00.000-08:00

I miss the colors of Hawaii. They are so green, so blue, so calming. Been trying to kick the cold I came home with and spent all day in bed watching movies (The King's Speech) and football (not sure how I feel about it, wanted the Saints to win, don't care much about the other game, but feel bad for Tebow).

Managed to get 1,500 words down for March. Need to do another thousand before I call it a day, because I have to work on a project for my other job tomorrow.

I've been experiencing moments of something I wasn't sure how to describe. A feeling so foreign I couldn't recognize it. A peace, a restfulness, a smile for strangers...patience. I thought a lot about it on the plane home and came to the conclusion that it was happiness. I haven't been happy in such a long time. I've been happy for others, my sisters, my cousin, my friends and family, but for me everything was just numb. And then when Dad's health was failing I fell into such a deep depression that there was no room for anything else. I did my best by everyone, tried to anyway, and at the end of the day had no energy left for myself. But I've been making careful steps back. It will take a long time, I think, but eventually I'll get there. Back to a place where jumping into my characters lives doesn't take such a process.

Found this video from the trip. Love the sound of the water.

Kauai - The Last Day

2012-01-11T21:20:00.000-08:00

Being over-achievers we bolted out of bed at 5:45am Hawaiian time, threw on our clothes, grabbed toast, and headed out for Waimea Canyon. Drove west then north this time, skirting Barking Sands and heading straight up a narrow winding highway. It was cloudy and rainy and at each overlook we were joined only by chickens.

We drove and drove till we could drive no more. Literally. The road ended. There was a trail heading, so we took it. I wish we had more time, because it looked wonderful, the weather was perfect, and my sense of adventure was tingling (much like it does when I'm about to go on a new ride at Disneyland).

Reluctantly we turned around and headed back to the car, passing a man on the trail who asked us if this was the "blabber blabber" trail and I responded "Yes, why yes it is" having no idea what he had actually called it. I don't know why I did it. A last act of Hawaiian rebellion, maybe.

The Blabber Blabber Trail

We raced back to the hotel, hastily packed, hurled our suitcases into the Jeep, and then I took a leisurely stroll on the beach - breathing deeply as I allowed the warm ocean water to bathe my feet. We ate a healthy lunch of french fries and fish tacos at Duke's, walked slowly past the beach again, then raced to the airport, rushed through security, made last minute purchases at the terminal gift shop (shhhh don't tell anyone), and pushed and shoved our way onto the plane.

Middle seat = Grumpy Me. And I caught a cold on the plane ride home. Really? Really? Plus my fake tan is fading. So I'm actually paler than when I went to Hawaii. Not possible, you say? Unfortunately it is.

Kauai - Day Four

2012-01-10T21:24:00.000-08:00

Drove north then east. The road became narrower, sometimes becoming a one lane bridge road. When we finally found the parking lot at The End of the Road, we were thankful we had rented a Jeep. It, like the trail we were about to climb, was rocky and hard to manage.

The Na Pali coast is only accessible by trail, air, or boat. We, having neither boat or plane, chose the trail. Rock by rock we climbed and were very lucky that the normally rainy season had not been rainy. On each overlook, Mandy looked for whales. She found one (or several) every time (entertaining others who did not possess her eagle eyes).

We were passed by a no-shoe-nature-boy, some hippies, a pair of overly dressed (and highly cologned) prepsters, several older people (Grrrrr), and three running men (no shirts, tan, sweaty...ahem...yummy). It was our first afternoon without roosters crowing every few minutes. We enjoyed the sounds of the surf, the wind through the palm trees and me swearing when I slipped on rocks.

I paused to let a centipede the size of my foot cross the trail. I was frozen in fear and neglected to take a photo.

We ate at a crowded open air bar called Kalypso. The Bronco/Steeler game was on and most of the patrons were Denver fans by the sound they made at the end of the game.

Raiders of the Lost Ark was filmed somewhere around here and I kept thinking about the poor people who had to lug all that heavy equipment up the steep, slick trails. I was holding my camera and a walking stick and it was too much at times. The worst part was that my skirt (skort) had no pockets. Why did I purchase a skort with no pockets? What was the point of that?

Anyhoo...then we saw a lighthouse. (It was not a miniature lighthouse, even though in the picture above my noggin would block most of it...I have a very large head)

Then we collapsed at the hotel, in the hotel pool, and threatened a couple of locals who were trying to pick us up.

Kauai - Day Three

2012-01-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

We kayaked. That was all we managed to do.

The place we rented the kayak's from was a open air shack. We had to haul our kayaks to the dock using tiny wheels that were loosely strapped underneath. The nice man (read islander with tattoos) who rented them to us, biked around the other shacks when he wasn't renting equipment to tourists.

We threw our kayaks into the ocean, plopped ourselves in and motored up the river. Since this is off-season the river was fairly empty. Only a few boats passed us and we had plenty of time to stop paddling and listen to the jungle sounds around us...and the roosters crowing. At one point I mentioned that it reminded me of Africa. My sister pointed out that I hadn't been to Africa. And I reminded her that I'd been to Disney World, which is much the same thing (but without the long flight).

Kauai - Day Two

2012-01-07T00:42:00.000-08:00

This island has few stop signs, a lot of chickens and runs on one speed...slow. At first it's relaxing. An island pace. And then, it becomes aggravating. (The fact that this happened on the second day for me surprises no one.) The pleasant "Aloha" and "Mahalo" gives way to an uncomfortable silence in the elevator. And I relish that silence. The bitter in-between phase that comes between greeting your elevator mate and them exiting on their floor. Preferably after yours. I spend most of that time calculating when I'm going to say "good-bye" or "have a nice day." Too early and you run the risk of forced conversation or witty banter while the doors slowly open. Too late and you sound snotty, as if you're making a comment on their lack of social grace.

But I have digressed.

Our second day started with a late breakfast and a workout. There is a koi pond in front of the lobby.

The floor was wet.

We then drove to Po'ipu to go shopping. We tried going on a trail near the beach, not realizing that the trail began on the beach. We ended up on a dirt road to...nowhere. An illicit meeting spot in the jungle. Frustrated, we headed back to the beach (groping our way beneath spider webs and over desiccated frogs) and sat there until the sun set.

The surfers were fun to watch. The swells were such that we were worried about a little dog who was trying desperately to get into the water.

He ran back and forth, sometimes cavorting in the waves. I took a video of it, but accidentally caught two gentleman in speedos, and, well, I'd rather not disturb you.

We then proceeded to the Spouting Horn.

I realize that that was the shortest video ever, but it is what it is. The horn spouts and makes a wonderful noise. The park was empty except for us and two other people. We took a lot of pictures and stared off into the ocean. AND SAW A WHALE! Happy Birthday to...my sister. To celebrate her turning...older...we went to Roy's for dinner and the food was delicious. Our waitress was very sweet. AND we had two chocolate deserts.

We then drove home in the dark. I leave you with this instruction and thought for the day:

Kauai - Day One

2012-01-05T21:02:00.000-08:00

The first day of any adventure is typically a travel day and ours was no exception. We awoke early after little sleep, braved Los Angeles traffic, made it to the airport with just enough time to check our bag and use the restroom before rushing to the gate. My sister and I had aisle seats and she was just across the aisle from me. I fell asleep early on and awoke to this view:

The entire row had vanished leaving only their possessions. Eventually they returned...whew. :)

The row in front of us included two surfers who met on the flight and were instantly best friends and two Russian rich boys with hockey player noses. The surfers went to the bathroom together and came back smelling like weed. They proceeded to order several more drinks and set up a small speaker system entertaining several rows with their musical tastes. Finally one of them passed out and all became quiet. The Russians spent most of their time laughing at the surfers and watching movies (and pushing their chairs back into our knees and then leaving inexplicably for several minutes at a time). Oh, and one of them kept spraying their face with water.

The couple next to me passed their time talking loudly to their friends in the row behind them (they were going golfing tomorrow, they had been on a cruise...) My sister sat next to a wonderfully nice person from Texas and a lovely lady with lots of suggestions on activities. Lucky dog.

We rented a Jeep.

Our hotel was exactly five left hand turns from the airport. We checked in, threw our things all over the room and went down to eat a light lunch at Duke's. As we sat at the beachfront cafe dining on crab wontons, fries and fish tacos we people watched. Our eyes were drawn to the woman in peach pants lying on the beach like a dead person. Thankfully her children soon arrived and revived her with bags of chips.

I took a few moments to complain to the hotel manager that our "Ocean View" room did not have a view of the ocean, but that was a minor issue. The rooms are very nice and I can hear the ocean, so really we have an Ocean Sounds room, which is very soothing. Tonight, more Duke's, tomorrow, we check out the island.

2012-01-02T19:38:00.000-08:00

My husband gave me this ray gun for Christmas. I attached it to a necklace he gave me years ago. A pearl for my children's birth month, a diamond for my niece, and ray gun to represent my pledge to always be a tough chick.

Here I come 2012. I will defeat you.

(I love my husband. He is the bomb.)

Steadfast Focus

2011-12-30T22:36:00.000-08:00

2011 was a series of interruptions. I could not claim one routine. There was no such thing as "me" time, not that it was of paramount importance anyway. Every hour of every day was a choice and each choice meant that I was not spending time on something else of equal importance. Sometimes the decision was clear. But other times, what ultimately won my time, maybe didn't deserve it.

There were weddings, one of which I couldn't attend. There were meetings and work obligations. There were graduations and award ceremonies. There were hours and hours at the hospital. There were hugs to give and hands to hold. Appointments to keep. People to consider. There were times when the tears fell and I did not have the energy to feel ashamed or the will to stop it.

The science fan in me knows that the turning of the year was an arbitrary decision by forefathers and that the act of resetting the clock does not truly return us to the beginning. There really isn't a reason for the year to end in the midst of a season, a moon phase, a planet alignment...

But I don't care. I'm glad the year is ending. I need things to start over. I'm a fan of resolutions (as I've said before in this blog) and I plan on making them.

For 2012, I resolve to be focused. Finish what I start. And be happy. That's pretty much it.

Oh, and laugh...a lot.

Straightening a record or writing a rant...I can't tell.

2011-12-27T22:57:00.000-08:00

An opinion expressed can often be mistaken for news in today's internet savvy world. If a publicist wants a rising pop star to rise, they get an entertainment site to write the words "sensation" or "phenom" and then post, re-post, like...until the world agrees. It isn't much different from the marketing of old, but back then you had to rely on cereal boxes, billboards...catalogs. Now the message is everywhere all at once and unavoidable to boot.

I don't necessarily have a problem with it. I'm an intelligent person who can navigate the messages and agree when I feel like agreeing. I am able to avoid over saturation by not watching the news, reality shows or reading entertainment magazines (masquerading as news).

But sometimes the message finds me in the form of a trusted blogger, a famous person who enjoys talking about themselves (and gets paid to do it). I admire them (follow that person on twitter), but this time what they say affects me in a personal way. Their blurb asks me to validate their message/opinion by agreeing with it and if I don't, then I'm an ignorant person who just doesn't know better.

Side note - whenever someone starts an opinionated statement with a list of their successes, I'm immediately on edge. Success only gives your opinion a historical perspective, not weight. Fact and interpretation are intermingled as frequently as popcorn and salt and the more powerful someone's ego the more confused they get about how much they really know versus the human nature driven desire to share their belief.

So here it is, my retaliation, my rebellion (may the force be with me)...

I am a writer and I write because I love it. I don't profess to be better than anyone else and I honestly am trying to enter the professional world of writing. I hope to someday make a living at it. That is a personal statement and a fair one. I've worked hard. I'm improving. I published my books on-line, myself, for reasons that are entirely my own. Maybe someday I'll have an agent. And when that day happens and I'm asked about why an author might choose to self-publish instead of going the traditional route of finding an agent, I will remind them of independent artists in other mediums and how sometimes we have to do things that feel a little uncomfortable in order to find our personal success. I wish there was a Sundance for writers. A way to celebrate when someone puts themselves out there and tries. Because that is all it is, an attempt. Sadly, this is viewed as a threat by some and they find the need to label self-published authors as a group trying to enter an elite club populated entirely by royalty.

Even if the traditionally viewed success never comes, I will always be grateful that I put myself out there and tried. And I'm going to keep on trying, just because. If there was only ever one way to do things, most of what we listen to, the technology we operate, just wouldn't exist. So rebellion - even in the form of us self-published authors - is the way of the world. It's a good thing, really.

Time for I'm a fan of...

2011-12-26T21:50:00.000-08:00

I'm a fan of loud sound effects and soaring music scores during films. Saw Mission Impossible yesterday - good film, fun to watch Jeremy Renner and Tom Cruise fight bad guys. Right before the action Coughing Man in the row in front of us joined forces with Crinkling Wrapper Man in the row behind us to create a cacophony of horrible noises. Add to that Idiot Man directly in front of me who was sharing a series of cat pictures with his neighbor, double clicking on them to bring the images of cats wearing Santa hats, cats sleeping in bowls, cats hugging other cats closer. ALL WRONG. I don't dislike cats (though I am allergic), however, there is a limit to my patience and when the movie finally did start, I found the dimming of the lights, the loud music, and the grunts from handsome men in suits soothing.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T18:37:00.000-08:00

Was not too excited for The Hobbit until I saw the trailer. Super excited now. So miss Gandalf.

Warning... melancholy...

2011-12-22T23:21:00.000-08:00

Watched Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers last night. Was up until two. Worth it. In my opinion it is the best one of the series. Love the Helm's Deep battle. My only criticism is Aragorn's hair. Why is it always wet and stringy? It became a little distracting. Elf flashback - dry hair. Conferring with Rohan King - wet and stringy. Did he bathe frequently? Was it always raining? Had it been so long since he washed it that the layer of grease and debris had set upon the hair in extreme ways? On the flip side, Legolas was only seen with perfectly groomed, never out of place, silky sheens of perfection. (And yes, I know that "sheens" isn't a word. I'm taking liberties.) I'm not saying that I was solely obsessed with hair follicles. The movie is amazing, the music fantastic...I cry every time Samwise gives the speech about there being good in the world worth fighting for. Was a little confused when the King of Rohan seemed to be reading lines from Henry V, but I let it pass.

Here's where the warning comes in - Had sudden realization today that this Christmas would be my first without my father. I've spent Thanksgivings, Easters, birthdays, New Years and various other and sundry holidays away from him, but never a Christmas. Even the Christmas when my parents had a huge fight. I don't remember how old I was, but I was old enough to drive. I took my sisters and drove to my grandmother's house without them. It took an hour to get there. When we arrived, my grandmother hugged me and whispered that they were on their way. Even that Christmas we were all together.

All other holidays were flexible, but this one wasn't. And now it is. I find that unacceptable.

There are too many sweets in my house, and other tales of woe.

2011-12-17T22:13:00.000-08:00

My to-do list is long. Laundry, holiday cards, wrap secret presents, figure out if I have the secret presents I planned on purchasing, run out and buy the secret presents if I haven't already, try and win the lottery, write book, finish extra scene, send another query, work out, count calories...

That last one is not optional, even though I'm inclined to think it is. On a scale of one to ten, ten being best, I'm probably at a five. Meaning I'm counting the calories, just not recording them. And we all know that unless it is written down it didn't happen. Without documentation I'm able to conveniently forget that I consumed my hummus with a bowl of corn chips.

It's nearly Christmas...

2011-12-10T20:54:00.001-08:00

And the memories keep on keeping on...

Last year. Hopefully the girls will sing again this year. Maybe Jake will join them. One can hope.

College football...and aging.

2011-12-03T21:57:00.001-08:00

Watched Bones and enjoyed what Brennan said to Booth about time not functioning in a linear fashion (according to some quantum scientists). That would explain why within the span of thirty minutes I can feel each of the ages I have had the good fortune of being, all in random order (of course when I bend my knees and hear them creak it brings me right back to the present).

Tonight I spent a little while as a football fan, watching the Big Ten championship game and remembering a cold, windy night in Colorado fifteen years ago. My sister and I toughed it out during a wintry CU game and saw Kordell Stewart lead the Buffaloes to a win. Flash forward to the first Bronco Super Bowl win. The phone lines became jammed and it took thirty minutes before anyone could call us. No cell phones then...no texting...Twitterverse hadn't experienced the Big Bang yet. Just us in snowy Colorado with our fathers calling us to join in on the fun. Flash back to me, age ten, learning the rules of football. X's and O's suddenly had new meaning and looked impressive lined up on a scrap of paper.

Back to present day and a tragic penalty against Michigan to end a great game. Imagined my father sitting in his chair watching the trophy be awarded to Wisconsin.

I took a break from the back and forth memories and stepped outside with the dogs. It's been a cold and windy day, but that translates to a clear sky with lots of stars. I looked for satellites. Found Orion and his belt. Wondered what app I would need to know if the planet I was looking at was Venus. Remembered sitting on my Grandma's front porch with her husband Hank. There was a meteor shower that night and we were watching for shooting stars.

Age means having too many memories to fit into one evening and aging means not being able to control the flow of them.

Wednesday Night Rant

2011-11-30T19:13:00.001-08:00

I'm a Twitter fan. For a person who shunned social media up until two years ago, I have now embraced much of it (although I doubt I will ever upload a video to You Tube...then again I have been dying to lip-sync Return to Sender wearing a spangly costume...mmmm). I travel a lot for work and enjoy keeping in touch with my family. Twitter made it possible to have a snarky thought and immediately send it to my poor family (followers). I love to share with whoever wishes to follow me (except for the spammers...I will block them with gusto). But having said this, I do not enjoy those who follow me only so that I'll follow them back. I'm not a joiner. I have anti-conformist tendencies. I'm a rebel...okay, a nerd. I don't typically do what others are doing Just Because. To date that has served me well and I don't plan on changing. So if you follow me for two days then unfollow me, then follow me, then unfollow me - go right ahead. I'm not bothered, nope. Nuh-uh. (But I find it all a little ridiculous and I mentally mock you.)

My sister and I are fans of this gentleman. He knows our Uncle in Wyoming.
Thank you Craig Johnson for signing a book for our dad. Means a lot.

And so it goes...

2011-11-27T18:47:00.001-08:00

Our Thanksgiving was pleasant. Great family time. But we missed Dad...his quiet presence at the head of the table, the way he would point at items using mental telepathy to get us to pass them, and the way he would laugh at my sister's grace (which did not disappoint...this year she made us hold hands and began with "Ladies and Gentleman...").

I headed to the cemetery as soon as I woke up so that I could give Dad flowers. In the quiet of the morning (with the faint melody of mariachi music floating over from the park), phrases came floating up. "How about getting that for your ole dad." "Hey bud." "We're gonna head out." I could hear his voice as clearly as if he were standing there. It was a nice way to start the day.

I then started cooking, but my heart wasn't in it. I suffered a minor melt down halfway through and had to lock myself in my office until I could smile again. Once the family showed up, it felt better, and once we ate, we were able to smile and joke.

We then headed out on what has become a tradition, the Walk. This year, the group entertained themselves by throwing the football to each other...until it became lodged in a tree. The men had to go back for it (in the dark) and were able to retrieve it using a very long flag pole (and magic).

Dad's girls.

Then we went to see the Muppets, which started slow, but ended wonderfully (picked up right when the Muppet Show began). We headed home singing "Mah-na Mah-na"...so much fun.

Then, my uncle called. His voice wasn't strong and my aunt had to fill in what he meant to say, but it was him and at the sound of his voice I cried and cried on my sister's shoulder. He's still recovering from his stroke, but is making great headway.

Overall, I think we did okay. Happy Thanksgiving!

Pie

2011-11-23T21:27:00.001-08:00

Tonight my house smells like the holidays. Pumpkin spice, apple and pecan. The pies are sitting on the stove top cooling.

When I was young I went through a phase where I didn't want cake for my birthday. But I didn't like pie. So we went with cream cheese for a few years. But as with everything else, I grew tired of that. I have an ever changing palate. I'm not one of those people who can eat the same thing over and over for years.

Except for tea. Iced tea, hot tea - I'm a fan. HUGE fan. Morning, noon...and night (I have one in my hand right now). In fact, I drink way to much tea.

But I digress.

Pie.

I can only eat pie if it is covered in a lot of whipped cream. I'm not real picky. I'm good with Cool Whip. In fact, Cool Whip is really a dream desert. Calories/Carbs - Low. Taste - High. Perfect. If I'm honest, I eat more of the whipped cream than I do the pie.

But tomorrow we will have pie. Pumpkin, cause the whole family loves it. Apple for my mom and husband. Pecan, for my brother-in-law. He joined our celebration three years ago and Pecan is his favorite pie. I had never made it before and had to hunt for recipes. Finally found one (my boss's wife), and the result is wonderful. (Ingredients include bourbon and chocolate...can't go wrong.)

The house really does smell good.

Prep day - when I manage to avoid any actual planning.

2011-11-20T21:31:00.001-08:00

Saturday involved walking around in the backyard with the dogs. There was no Thanksgiving planning.

The procrastination took a more sinister turn as day gave way to night and we found ourselves enjoying Battle of the Bands at a local high school. My sister's band played a tribute to flight (that even included and ode to space-flight - squee).

Then Sunday occurred. I played Harry Potter Legos...for a really long time. I also went to the grocery store (which also took a really long time). And I finally made the pie (with Trader Joe's apple pie in a can...delicious). I managed to dust and vacuum...and I scheduled the carpet cleaner for tomorrow. After making dinner - there was more Harry Potter - then I sampled the apple pie (nom-nom-nom). Immediately afterward my son demanded I do a series of exercises...but I may have blacked out halfway through the second series of lady push-ups.

It is now close to ten and very little of March has been written. Sigh. One must start by forgiving oneself, correct? But after we forgive ourselves the inner Richard Simmons needs to bounce up in short shorts and demand we complete at least five hundred words before sleep overtakes us.

It's Fall People

2011-11-19T16:17:00.001-08:00

Fall means orange and red leaves, cloudy skies and sweaters. It means comfort food and hot tea. It means friends and family.

It also means I must get serious. SERIOUS! March does not seem to be able to write itself.

At first I couldn't tell why I was unable to get past a certain scene. I tried for the entire week to get them on the road, out of the house, STOP TALKING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! But the incessant chit chat continued unabated.

So I backtracked and found it. That elusive piece of the puzzle. Now that it is written, I should be able to move forward. I'll let you know how it goes.

Funny how writing is. The story takes on a life of its own once you start putting pen to paper. The outline I start with is not the outline I finish with. And there are tons of little surprises. Such as, the beagle. I knew the beagle would be in this book (a suggestion from a friend who promotes my books in her bookstore even though they don't sell on her shelves - she is the best!), but I didn't know who the beagle would end up with. In fact, I still don't...but I mostly do...I hope.

Why I Eat Grits (from the Foodie, a guest blogger)

2011-11-15T09:44:00.000-08:00

I’ve been thinking about my dad lately. Before I go to sleep. When I wake up. While I am studying, driving, working. You can say he’s been on my mind.

And so I eat grits.

It started in my food science class during our two-in-one vegetable and fruits/grains and legumes lab. While my lab partner and I conducted an enzymatic browning test on apples and bananas (lemon proved to be the champion in preventing browning btw), our kitchen partners were making couscous, oatmeal, and cornmeal mush. Whereas we couldn’t eat our experiment, partaking in their lab results was an absolute treat.

Corn is pervasive and grown on over 400,000 U.S. farms. It is used as a syrup, alcohol, oil, flour, and starch. 80% of the corn grown in the U.S. is used as animal feed, for domestic and overseas livestock. In the American kitchen, corn is served for breakfast, lunch and dinner and often as a vegetable side dish.

A “vegetable” is a non-scientific term that refers to any non-sweet tasting food derived from a plant. A corn kernel is a caryopsis, the seed and edible portion of a member of the grass family Gramineae. To a botanist, this means corn is a fruit because the seed is the plant’s ripened ovary. To a farmer, corn is a grain, and grains are essentially any seeds from grasses.

So vegetable, fruit or grain? Feel free to search for an answer here:

http://www.newton.dep.anl.gov/askasci/gen01/gen01975.htm

In the meantime, I will consider corn a fruit when it sweetens my soft drink, a vegetable when I eat it off the cob, and a grain when I have it for cereal. And that means when I eat grits.

Grits are any coarsely ground grain. In America, that grain has traditionally been hominy corn (corn treated with lye). What is commonly found in grocery stores is essentially cornmeal. Other than providing a source of carbohydrates, grits offer very little nutritional value. Generally, the bran and germ of the kernel have been removed, leaving the starchy endosperm. The bran contributes fiber and riboflavin and the germ is a source of B & E vitamins and various minerals, in addition to incomplete protein. The oil rich germ is commonly removed to increase shelf life, as any whole grain product is prone to oxidative rancidity due to its higher fat content.

There are several slow-cooking artisan grits products on the market and some are whole grain, like White Lily. Anson Mills advertises handmade grits from organic heirloom seed corn.

The grits I have at home are Alber’s, a quick-cooking variety of ground hominy that has been degermed. It’s enriched with B vitamins, iron, and niacin, but the product has very little fiber and is only 9% protein.

But oh my, is it good. I use 3 tablespoons to ¾ water and heat it for a few minutes in the microwave. I add a dollop of buttery spread and some brown sugar and stir. I usually have a veggie strip for a dose of protein right before and my grits are practically dessert.

I know the package of steel cut oatmeal immediately to the left of my grits in the cupboard is the healthier breakfast choice, but for now, I am thoroughly enjoying a good old fashioned bowl of cornmeal mush for breakfast and, of course, thinking about my dad, who often enjoyed the same.

“When I walk into my kitchen today, I am not alone. Whether we know it or not, none of us is. We bring fathers and mothers and kitchen tables, and every meal we have ever eaten. Food is never just food. It's also a way of getting at something else: who we are, who we have been, and who we want to be.”

Molly Wizenberg, A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table, 2009

When they were young...

2011-11-11T21:17:00.001-08:00

Oh, if we could just orchestrate their happiness though the rough pre-teen and teen years as easily as it seems possible when they are just starting out. I was a focused mommy and auntie - paid attention to all the little things, made sure they had the right blankey or stuffed animal next to them as they fell asleep, had a hand out to prevent the trips and falls as best I could, and knew just what face to make to send them into hysterical giggles.

It's not as easy anymore - not that it was easy then, but at least I was right more than I was wrong. Today I'm wracked with self-censorship, sometimes successfully biting my tongue before I say something like "That looks like a pajama shirt" or "Are you ever going to cut your hair?" But more often than not, I blurt out exactly what I'm thinking (a trait I share with my favorite character - Sam) and that gets me into trouble.

I really really need them to cast off the hyper self-awareness and negativity casserole they are stewing in and come back down to blissful basics. They are good people. I love them. That should really be all that matters.

As I write this my son is sticking his head over the top of my computer explaining what our work out is going to be tomorrow. Earlier this week he decided to be my trainer. And even though I complained all through my first work out with him three days ago, he does not seem fazed. In fact, it seems as if he's deriving tremendous joy from my agony.

I must have done something right.

What to do about the holidays.

2011-11-08T18:20:00.000-08:00

About this time of year the catalogs start to pile up and I stack them carefully next to my computer with every intention of paging through them and finding that perfect gift. Without fail, I never manage to use them and discover, much to my dismay that trying to purchase gifts out of a catalog the week before Christmas is not practically possible (and frowned upon by non-procrastinators who we shall not name...mother).

I mention this because I just realized that my stack of catalogs now measures six inches in height (no exaggeration). If I don't devote time to this worthy endeavor I will have to disown myself.

On a book note - I am officially 10,000 words in to March. Things are going swimmingly - or terribly depending who you are in the book. If you're Skipper, well thing's aren't so bad. But if you're Violet...let's just be glad you aren't Violet. Also, I finished the synopsis of Breach and plan on submitting it this weekend. I can't help but be excited about that story. I love science fiction and to be able to write in that genre is such a wonderful feeling. My imagination just goes wild...plasma guns, space ships, dimensional shift. Fun, fun, funsky.

#1 Plumber

2011-11-07T18:44:00.000-08:00

Driving home today I passed a blue pick up truck with the informational notice that the driver was #1 in Plumbing. "Well, whoop-dee-do," I thought, and then, "How does he know this?"

Was it a self-proclaimed title? And if it was, can everyone join in?

Why not...

I am #1 in partially read novels. I'm also #1 in phenomenal Christmas gift ideas that somehow don't get purchased in time. AND I'm #1 in stacks of magazines that never hit the trash bin but pile up in various corners of my house until I become frustrated and throw them all out read or not.

***

My uncle recently had a stroke and is in the ICU. I love him. A lot. That's me resting my shoulder on his when he was a youngin' and I was even littler (1973).

1998 - With Sarah, cracking his jokes, even though she was only three months.

2011 - With Jake at Dad's service.

I can't imagine my world without him, so I spent the weekend at the hospital, and when it was just him and me for a moment I whispered it in his ear. I know he heard me.

Thankful

2011-11-03T17:17:00.000-07:00

We've had a rough year. The latest news was positive at least. A member of our family recently fought cancer and WON! (My son made the ribbon above out of Jenga pieces. So clever!) While her battle was not without it's scars, she came away in fighting form and all of us are breathing a big sigh of relief. My poor son has been beyond depressed for days and today (after hearing the news) was almost himself again.

So I'm heading into what is normally my favorite time of the year with hesitation, hopefulness, and a warm compress around my heart - to keep the remaining pieces together.

This weekend I happened upon my grandma's dream car at the grocery store.

As I have said before, my grandma is a cool chick.

All Hallows Eve - So spooky...or maybe not.

2011-11-01T18:18:00.000-07:00

They'll probably kill me for posting this picture, but I think they are CUTE!!!. Sarah was, well if you don't know who she was you have issues. Scott was...again, do I have to say it? And Jake was Zeus. He even made the lightening bolts. Very authentic.

Basically my house was full of people much more powerful than me.

2011-10-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

I registered at Good Reads this evening. There were so many nice people on there commenting and rating my book I felt I needed to check in. But registering involves choosing a profile pic and I find this extremely difficult. I chose the one above. I hate the fact that I'm wearing sunglasses in it, but on the bright side my teeth look white. The flyaway hair adds to the sense of mystery, I think. What is she doing? Where is she? (In this case I was in a garden in Minnesota. True fact: At the very moment this was taken I was worried about a bee hovering inches from my ear. It was fairly stressful. I take a better picture when my life in in danger.)

It was an exhausting week and made more so because I was still fighting my cold. The flight attendant on the way home enjoyed singing. She repeatedly used the intercom as an effective torture device. As we were landing (and below 10,000 feet, thus unable to listen to that which could save us) she told us her name was Lindy with a Y and that we could look her up on You Tube. I had been listening to a podcast (Nerdist) and was planning on going to You Tube anyway to look up Jimmy Fallon (genius). But tonight, as I write this, I wonder...did she know her social networking message would haunt me?

I'm getting a lot of questions about when March will be available. I'm hoping for June. My calendar says June. I plan on working very hard to make sure it happens in June. I'm currently 8,000 words in and so far, they've discovered the dead body (which is not a spoiler cause it happens in the first chapter and is really the start of the mystery and would be uncovered in the book blurb anyway) and done a bunch of other stuff (I can't say any more cause that would be spoilerish and I've sworn that I wouldn't spoil things - I swore this to my sister who can be very intimidating when she wants to be).

Oh, and I'm a USA Today Bestseller. Um...yeah. WHOOO HOOO!!!!

I'm going to Chicago.

2011-10-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

I am going to Chicago tomorrow. Let's all remember the last time I was in Chicago, when I had the poisoned food. I'm voting for a new, fresh experience with no vomiting. That's all I'm going to ask for. And, since we'll be somewhere south of Milwaukee on Thursday, I want more signs like the one above. I don't think that's too much to ask.

I have a cold.

2011-10-23T19:33:00.000-07:00

We went to go see my dad's marker last Sunday.

Goulish cake from the dessert party.

Horrifying cupcakes from the dessert party.

"Are they Zombie Gingerbread Men?" a small child asks. "Yes," answered my husband.

I had plans this weekend. BIG plans. But, since I spent over half the weekend in bed with a heating pad on my feet (read small Beagle), none of my plans were accomplished. I am trying not to think about my trip to Chicago this week and thanking all the above atmosphere deities that I don't have to fly tomorrow. Hopefully the orange/pineapple/apple/mango(ick) juice I downed at dinner will immediately cure me. IMMEDIATELY! Is that too much to ask?

Will update you tomorrow regarding my miraculous recovery.

Working Day

2011-10-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

Watching the Jet's fans boo their own team. Geesh. I'm sure if I was there (instead of a hotel in New Mexico) I'd be booing too. Out of love, of course.

Nearly missed my plane this morning. Hit the parking lot forty-five minutes before my plane took off, walk-ran to the gate and made it in time to get a window seat - albeit in the back of the cabin. Landing in Albuquerque was extremely bumpy. Felt like we were dive bombing the runway...which we might have been.

My husband helped me figure out where one of my characters (Ben) lives. He had the correct perspective - male. The quest now is to determine a project car (Ben's daily drive is functional with a little personality, but his dream ride sits in a shop, for now). What would a cop in Southern California choose for their "pour all extra cash into parts" car? Just not sure.

The Pacific Northwest

2011-10-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

If I could move to Seattle tomorrow I would. I love the entire area more than I can tell you. On this trip we had two days of rain and one of beautiful sun. On the first day, after our appointments, we drove to Multnomah Falls. It was raining so bad, we almost gave up. We exited the freeway, only to find ourselves on a two lane highway we couldn't turn around on. We then had to keep going.

The falls were beautiful, but it was raining so hard we couldn't hike like we'd wanted to.

After running back to the car, we headed back and found ourselves in Troutdale. We asked a clerk at a shop if there was a place close by they recommended for dinner. He suggested McMenamins. He said that sometimes the service could be slow, but the food was good (and he was right, food was excellent). The restaurant was built in an old poor house. The gift shop cashier explained that if you were bad and didn't work the fields you had to eat at the Mush Table and was not allowed to eat meat...which would have been perfect for us (since we're now veggie lovers). The cashier went on to explain that the owners were really nice and that since they had beer, wine and hard liquor they were quite a rarity in Oregon.

On the second day we drove to Morton, Washington for a plant tour. Our guide was super and we enjoyed learning all about his family's weight loss struggles. After an hour at the plant, we needed food. There were three places suggested - a questionable Mexican restaurant, Subway, or Spiffy's Burgers. I thought Spiffy's would be fine, since I was craving fries, but when we finally found the walk up/car wash/run down shack, we elected to eat at the local grocery store. We stocked up on Fritos and hummus dip and headed west. I also gave my last ten dollars to a boy scout for popcorn we later gave to the rental car guy. The boy scout was super nice and he deserved it.

The video is during our wet drive north to Seattle.

We finally had sun on the last day and this was our view of Mount Rainier.

The Seattle airport lobby - in my humble opinion the prettiest in the land.

Seattle bound...

2011-10-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

2009 - Me in my favorite city, on my favorite lake (Washington), thinking about my future favorite house.

There is probably no better feeling than to see something you've worked hours and hours at, be successful. And I can now say (at least for the next month or so) that my books are making people happy. I hope very happy. I hope they are giggling hysterically at some of the things Sam does. I'm writing A Violet March and a friend of Sam's mother (Mrs. Cochran) just did something that made me laugh...but my sister would be upset if I put any spoilers in here, so I won't, because I don't like to make her mad.

I'm packed for my trip this week, have a to-do list a mile long (January synopsis, Breach synopsis and edits, and March pages...oh, and work too), and need only to talk with my aunt and work out at the gym to make this evening complete.

A Halloween update : As you may know, we are like little kids around here during Halloween. We've been many things as a group.

Olympic Athletes (My little son had all eight medals around his neck.)

White trash Seven Dwarfs. That's us in the back row freaked out on Tower of Terror. Note the expensive beard batting flung up over our heads and the cheap name cards (safety pinned to our hats). Yes, we have class.

The Tooth Fairy - and a cute bunny.

Kingdom Hearts King Mickey (I made it myself, cha!!)

Well, this year is no different. My son and husband have put hours into their costumes. My husband works at an elementary school ad every year he tries to come up with something to make the little kids laugh. This year will be no exception.

But NO SPOILERS...you'll just have to wait a few weeks for the big reveal. Trust me, it will be epic.

I'm a fan of...the Sunday Edition

2011-10-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

Deeks on NCIS Los Angeles is now my favorite character on television. He holds a special place in my heart next to Sheppard of Stargate Atlantis, DiNozzo of NCIS and the never to be topped Crichton of Farscape. Just occurred to me that this list is composed of all men. It should be noted that any character Claudia Black plays is automatically one of my favorites. She is the main reason I purchased and played Uncharted (played being a generous word...mostly I just watched my husband play).

I am a Jets fan. I'm a fan even when I receive a hundred texts from my friend, who is a Patriots fan, telling me my team sucks. And Jets, if you're listening, please do me a favor and win next week. The last text she sent me this evening was just plain polite and that kind of pity disturbs me more than anything else.

And finally, I'm a fan of Corner Bakery. Sarah and I spent a comfortable hour there today. She doing homework, and me facing the dreaded synopsis of January Kills Me. In the days after my father died, my friends ordered us food from Corner Bakery and it was much appreciated. The food was great, the tea excellent and the delivery was friendly. Can't say enough nice things about them.

Determination

2011-10-08T14:41:00.000-07:00

There are some really great people out there. I have been enjoying hearing from everyone via my website, or Facebook, even Twitter. My family and friends have been great, sending out notices to everyone they know. And my sister's bookstore has been wonderful. I found out today that I can make an Audible version (that will make my brother-in-law happy). Thanks to the village that helped me with these books, January Kills Me is steadily in the top 100 on Amazon and climbing.

Yesterday I sent the first three chapters of March to a friend for her comments and suggestions. She was instrumental in the development of February; meeting me every two weeks, at various and sundry coffee shops and bookstores. This weekend she is finishing her book and I can't wait to read it. Long Live Ruby!!

This evening, I am determined to send out a few more query letters. I will not give up.

See my new cabinets?!!

My husband ordered and installed cabinets in my office. Since, during the weekday, I'm a sales director, but in the evenings and on the weekends, I'm a writer, mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin, friend, lab and beagle lover...my office is understandably a bit wonky. But I love it. And I do understand that if I happen to be sitting at my desk during an earthquake, I will be buried in books (that's the Harry Potter series, the Little House on the Prairie collection, and all of the Janet Evanovich and Tad Williams books above my head). I'm good with that.

2011-10-05T17:59:00.000-07:00

This picture of Jake in the Sierra's represents my mood this afternoon upon hearing about Steve Jobs. When I found out he died, I was on the phone with a friend and found myself trying to explain how much he, and the products he brought to life, changed our world. I couldn't put it into words as well as I would have liked.

His death is a tremendous loss and I'm grateful I lived when he did. He was simply amazing.

A party...

2011-10-02T16:02:00.000-07:00

We awoke early, crammed six of us into a car and flew like the wind to Boulder City for a party. My sister desperately tried to study Organic Chemistry in the back seat, my husband surprised himself by being able to sleep (when it wasn't his turn to drive), and my children restrained themselves from causing each other bodily harm. My aunt and uncle decorated their clubhouse, ordered delicious Mexican food and everything went off without a hitch. We even managed to make it home that night in less than five hours and without one potty stop.

This would have been the best picture ever, but my husband ruined it by holding up the ice cream.

Better. My cousin, my grandma and me.

Grandma and her friends. She's the only one who drives. My husband says it's like high school..."Oh, you have a license? Let's ride! Take us to the casinos!!" And what's up with the wall art?

Although my family would rank high on an insanity scale (but then again, whose wouldn't) we love each other fiercely and tons of fun was had. As the sun was setting, I hung out with the kids near the pool. They were pretending they were in jail, so I asked them for their bad guy monikers. The littlest one began to name everyone - Mask, for her, Unexpected Sponge, for my daughter (because there was a really gross sponge nearby), and Water, for her brother (I later renamed him Poseidon...sounded more ominous). I should have asked for my name...

And - January Kills Me is doing extremely well on Amazon. I'm currently the only indie author on some of the top listings. During all the parting and driving yesterday, I did manage to upload the right file to Amazon...WHEW.

Where my book was today on the Suspense category listing. Since it may never happen again, look who I'm in between. :)

Friday Notes

2011-09-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

Watched Fringe last night. Was pleasantly surprised to see Joe Flanigan on as a guest star. Sad to see him offed so early in the show. Caught up with NCIS (love it) and one episode of Hawaii 5-0 (not sure yet). Tried to watch Charlie's Angels, but fast forwarded through nearly the whole show, while providing commentary for my son. "See, here's where the car blows up, and here is where she punches him, then he punches her..." Won't watch that again. AND if you must know I have been taping General Hospital again. It isn't as bad, but I'm still rushing through it, stopping to watch only a few times an episode. Love Alexis, though. If I had an avatar, she might be it...or Gonzo.

Still trying to fix January on Amazon and since they haven't released it yet, I can't touch it and thus, can't fix it. So, it remains the wrong file. Not too much the wrong file, but wrong, none-the-less. Out of frustration, I have cleaned and vacuumed the house today. I wasn't frustrated enough to clean the bathrooms, but trust me, if they don't release it tonight, the bleach will come out! Oh, woe filth in my house, when my anger reaches it's peak!

Happy birthday to my wonderful grandma today. I love her. SO MUCH!

Had a dream the other night that my Aunt sent me a text. But it wasn't a text, it was a video of my mom and dad on a hike. Dad had his silly white tennis shoes on and my mom had the hat she wore in Tahoe. They were laughing and smiling. Mom kissed my dad's cheek and he made a comment about how he could keep walking now. It was so real, like I was really there, like I could reach out and touch him. Since I'll be seeing my Aunt tomorrow, I'll be thanking her for sending me a memory so real, it was like a gift (she will be surprised, but I will thank her anyway). Memories run through my head like a video player on a loop. Sometimes I close my eyes and can feel my dad's hand, hear him call my name...but this memory was MUCH better and I woke up smiling.

Technical Difficulties

2011-09-29T19:37:00.000-07:00

Struggled with ebook formatting today. Lesson learned: perfection may be an admirable pursuit, but quite silly, really, given all the other, far more important ways I could spend my time. The good news is that A Bomb in February should be on Barnes and Noble and Amazon by tomorrow...or Saturday. The bad news is, I messed with January and I think loaded the wrong file on Amazon. I can fix it...I think...but will have to do that tomorrow.

Because I have a headache the size of a small elephant, tonight.

Random thoughts when stressed...

2011-09-27T18:09:00.000-07:00

Sarah's science teacher is the bomb. That's his classroom above. Sarah says it's annoying that they can't see the clock, but I say "HUZZAH! Down with society mandated time constraints! Up with charting our futures with Earth's orbit, season to season, night to day..." I loved it.

I love my mother. She is dealing with so much and yet she dedicated two whole days to pouring over my pages, diligently marking commas and pointing out those ridiculous mistakes that emerge when you edit in time bubbles. Every time she marked something as "funny" it made me smile.

My grandmother's birthday party is this weekend. She turns ninety. We're very proud of her, but deep down inside we are all seething with jealousy. She's funny, beautiful, has tremendous character, created a wonderful family, and doesn't look a day over sixty. I just know that when I'm older, my children will be politely saying "You don't look a day over seventy, mom," not realizing I'm only sixty. Of course, I also know I won't be line dancing or swimming in pools past the age of fifty-five. Don't ask me why, I just know these things about myself.

Grandma - And three of her children.

Iowa

2011-09-23T14:03:00.000-07:00

Up until this week, I'd never been to Iowa. And unless pressed, I don't know that I'll be back. It wasn't that Iowa was bad. On the contrary, the people were nice, the neighborhoods charming, the food good...

It is just so hard to get to. After two flights and a four hour drive, I finally reached the lovely town of Des Moines. On the way down we searched up interesting tidbits about our destination. We learned that the state capital has five domes and is the only one in America to have that many. We also learned that the city was named after the Des Moines river, which translates to River of Monks.

The next morning after a few meetings we hunted down a Caribou Coffee (fast becoming my favorite Midwest coffee destination). It was just in the nick of time, since the two hour time difference always hits me about 10:30am on the first full day of Central Time Zone. It's like clockwork. One minute I'm fine, and the next I'm craving a blankey and some tea. Once I have the tea, I'm back on the straight and narrow and pretty good until lunch. Most who travel with me know this and plan accordingly.

After lunch and a couple more appointments we were back on the road toward home. But not before heading past the capital building for some good photos. It is a very beautiful building. We saw a wonderful monument on the Eastern side of the building and marveled at it.

As we pulled away, we took another look and were horrified by the sight of a bronze that seemed wildly out of place in a public arena. By wildly, I mean, um, wildly. We looked back, looked back again to verify that what we'd just seen was what the other person was seeing, and then we sped away - me screaming that I was blinded for life.

My mom looked it up on the internet and learned that Bill Bryson (one of my all time favorite authors) wrote about it in the Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid. He grew up in Des Moines and he and his little friends were all very familiar with the statue. If I could pick anyone to write about what it looks like, it would be him.

Then on the long drive back to Minneapolis, we stopped for gas at an independent station. There was a hotel nearby with the same name.

What "Couple" means, we had no idea.

There was a lot of corn.

Finished edits...sort of

2011-09-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

Finished the massive sweep of corrections, additions, word changes, and general cleaning up required in order to submit the manuscript to my trusty editor/family/people who will blackmail me later. I trust them. They are the best. If all goes well, I'll get those edits back by Friday and I will spend another weekend chained to my computer perfecting it so that my readers don't gasp at missing periods and improperly placed commas (for which I am truly sorry, truly).

My back is killing me.

February Cover

2011-09-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure this is it, unless you guys say no. In which case, I'll consider your opinion...but can't promise to change my mind.

Ugh.

2011-09-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

Chicago skyline - from Navy Pier - before the agony...

Lake Michigan, from Navy Pier - before the agony...

I don't know who these people are, but they were on the pier...before the agony...

Landed in Chicago on Monday afternoon and went directly to The Yolk, a great little restaurant downtown. Had wonderful salad (I'm a vegetarian now...sigh) and then took a brief walk to Navy Pier. I'd never been. It was very windy, we passed signs for a ship called "Windy" and all of this struck me as funny when I made the connection to the "Windy City." But seriously, it was windy.

Spent the next day in a meeting, then had dinner at a restaurant I won't name. I made the unwise decision to have the fettuccine Alfredo. Never again. Spent the entire night sick. Managed to make it to the second day of the meeting at 8am, but was in agony...AGONY...the entire day. The main issue was the fact that my day of utter miserableness wasn't going to end for hours, because I had to drive to O'Hare, take a five hour plane ride, and then drive for an hour after landing. All of this meant that I wasn't able to climb into bed until the wee hours of the morning.

AND, my body is still not allowing food. I'm not sick anymore, but my stomach feels the need to remind me that we were sick and that I'll be making wise food choices here on out. Thus, in addition to being a vegetarian, I am now banning cheese of any kind.

Tonight, my wonderful husband went to the store and purchased potato soup for me. Which I really wanted and thought would work. My daughter pointed out that it was "creamy" potato soup, "With milk, Mom." No biggie, I thought, I can have milk. WELL, NO I CAN'T PEOPLE! No, I can't. *SOB* Am I a vegan? AHHHHHHHHHHHH

On a less, self-involved note, my son tonight asked me if I could tuck him in. Really, there is no greater question.

Weekend

2011-09-11T22:55:00.000-07:00

I am nearly done with edits. Spent almost two solid days working on it. My back is sore and I have a headache, but I'm happy.

Today we celebrated a birthday. It didn't occur to me until we were singing that no one would say my mother's name. That was my dad's job. We were all so emotional, our initial melody was off. We had to stop and start over, laughing at ourselves, the three sisters standing together...where our father would have sat.

The last birthday he sang with the family was Jake and Sarah's. He should have been here today to sing to my mom.

Ten years ago, we sat outside at a restaurant celebrating mom's birthday. It had been an emotional day, full of sadness. We marveled that there were no planes in the sky. Today, I watched ceremonies on television marveling at how resilient we are as a country. How we fundamentally agree about standing up against those who attack our freedom. We'll argue all day about stuff that doesn't matter, but when it comes to the important things, we act as one. Bravery has it's own political party.

I also watched my Jets win over the Cowboys, which was good because I smack talked someone all day and really needed them to pull out a win. The fact that they won by three (which I hastily predicted in one descriptive text), was a bonus.

Football season has started. Normally, I would be reviewing the college teams with my dad...teasing him about USC (his team) and complaining about UCLA (my team). The next few months are going to be very difficult.

A writers hidden talent...procrastination.

2011-09-08T20:39:00.000-07:00

Whenever I'm nearing the end of a project my heart races, my stomach churns and I'm incapable of concentrating on the task at hand. Case in point - today I spent way too much time designing the cover of February. When I'm happy with two or three variations I will once again put them up here for you to vote on.

What I should have been doing is focusing on getting through the edits. The other terrible part about editing is the self-hatred that comes with it. I fret about a sentence, a line, wondering if it sounds too trite, too cliche, too unprofessional. When all I really need to do is just plod on.

Yet, here I am, procrastinating by updating my blog. The thing I have to be proud of is I have not checked Facebook in two days. Of course, I've compensated for that by checking twitter multiple times an hour. Enough to get a play by play of the football game.

On anther note - I'm pretty sure I've gone total vegetarian now. I haven't cheated in three days. I've even tried fake meat, which in truth is a step you take when you're ready to commit. The Trader Joe's not-really-sausage-sausage-patties weren't so bad and their corn dogs (which aren't really dogs) was delicious.

All right, Sarah looks serious...back I go.

Moving on...geesh.

2011-09-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

Just finished the rewrite of my middle grade book - A Breach in the Boundary. I needed to get that done, because I kept thinking about it and it was keeping me from February. Now, I have no excuses...

My husband made me this great stand for editing. It worked extremely well.

The Cube

2011-09-06T22:09:00.000-07:00

"You can have the minivan or the truck...or the Corolla - wait, nope, that's taken...well, there's this Cube. Do you want that? It drives well."

We stared at our options. I refuse to drive a minivan, for any reason...ever. So that was out. The truck was big and since we weren't on our home turf - today it was Denver - we figured that a giant vehicle wouldn't be wise.

My ten year old self whined in my head (at least I hope I didn't say it out loud), "Seriously, do we have to? Really?"

But there were no other options. As we accepted the vehicle, a worker exiting it exclaimed, "Going for the happy meal, huh?" Nice.

Memphis

2011-09-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, there were goats in a bar.

I thought we'd start this post with a little culture. Did you know that Memphis is the name of a city in Egypt? And that the Mississippi delta that's near Memphis, Tennessee is much like the delta near Memphis, Egypt? And that Memphis is named after Memphis? And that there is a pyramid (much like the Luxor, but with less black) in the USA Memphis?

I thought not.

We went to the roof of the Peabody to see the Duck Palace, but it was being renovated, so we just took pictures.

Thanks to Irene, there was very little humidity and the weather was fabulous. Watching the sunset over the Mississippi from the roof of a beautiful hotel was a great experience. We were entertained by two sisters celebrating a birthday. They were very happy, thanks to a great deal of alcohol. They offered to take our picture if we took theirs and since one of them was a "stylist" there was much instruction as to how I should hold the camera. It took longer than it should have.

The Rendezvous - Dinner Tuesday night, after we missed the ducks at the Peabody, again.

The much "loved" sign outside of Graceland.

The parking was ten dollars and the tour was thirty one dollars and we didn't have enough time to make that worth it, so we parked in front of Graceland and took pictures. It was quite shocking to see all the graffiti. I'm sure that many of them thought they were doing it out of love, but all it did was make what was probably a beautiful wall, look run down. And there was no way to read the sign.

Graceland - As close as we could get.

Recovering

2011-08-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

I love hiking in the hills around where I live. The pictures above are from last weekend. We had a muggy, foggy day and I somehow made it up the hill without having to stop and heave. So proud.

Last night my children and I exercised to a Dancing with the Stars video. We did the Cha Cha. Tonight, we'll try the Merengue. Extremely glad I don't have an audience (other than my two lovely kids) when I'm trying to swivel, step forward, back, cha cha cha. Anyone watching would be very disturbed.

***NOTE - My husband just killed a fly with something called an Electro Zapper. There was no carcass. He simply vaporized it. There is evil laughter involved. Should I be concerned?

Last night I slept without waking for the first time in what feels like weeks. My head feels clearer, but my heart still aches at random times throughout the day. I'm starting to understand what they mean by "grief digging deep." This hurts like nothing else I've ever experienced. Since everyone in my family is feeling the same thing (probably none more than my mother) we have a silent language of smiles and hugs which speaks volumes, but doesn't mend.

But, I'm not wallowing. I shan't wallow. I shall step forward, head raised, and get on a Delta flight tomorrow morning for Memphis, a city I've never visited before. I will take pictures and post them. Also - I expect to meet Elvis.

Louisiana

2011-08-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

There were about four or five cemeteries within blocks of each other. At six feet down there is water, so everyone is buried above ground.

Given the past few weeks, I wasn't eager to stop and take a photo of the cemeteries we saw, but I was impressed by how haunting and Gothic they looked. I pictured them with rolling fog and an early dusk. **shiver**

The architecture was amazing. The ironwork was incredible. This house reminded me of a good Anne Rice story.

Years ago, my girlfriend and I camped in Yosemite during a rainstorm. We spent an entire day in our tent reading. I read a book by Anne Rice called The Witching Hour. I believe it was set with this house in mind.

Outside of Jacques Imo's Cafe. You can sit outside in the pick up if you like.

To get to the dining room you have to walk through the kitchen. Once you passed through the burning fires of Hades, you entered a cool, dim dining room with drawings, pictures and artwork all over the walls. Every inch of wall space is decorated with something. I had the fried chicken, a spinach salad with fried oysters and red beans and rice...amazing.

Mississippi River

Probably not the most attractive viewing spot, but impressive none-the-less.

Speaking of hurricanes.

Editing

2011-08-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

The heating pad is on.

Was in New Orleans, Baton Rouge and Dallas this week. Here are the top five moments.

Stood on the bank of the Mississippi in Louisiana. My new quest is to stand on the shores of this great river in every state it touches. But not after the river floods. While we stood there, my rep informed me that a large alligator had been seen there right after a flood. "Right here?" "Pretty much, yeah."
We went to Frank's for lunch on Tuesday. Cricket was our waitress and she let us know that she was deaf in one ear. "Which ear?" we asked, but she didn't hear us. I ordered red beans and rice. Because, it's delicious. And it was wonderful. I also learned that Mondays are red beans and rice day in New Orleans. For me, it would be every day.
Lake Pontchartrain is freaking huge. I'd swear it was an ocean in and of itself. I saw the sun rise over this "brackish estuary" (Wikipedia) on Tuesday morning. So...beautiful.
Toll tags are built into the rental cars in Dallas. This is important to know and if we had known it would have saved us about an hour of stressful drive time on Wednesday. And I could have eaten more at La Madeline.
Virgin America is not for people who like fresh air and sunshine touching their faces. It is for those that like the dark...possibly vampires, I don't know. I don't plan on flying it again any time soon. The only good thing was watching three straight hours of NCIS - the best show ever.

I titled this entry "Editing" because I am editing. A Bomb in February is coming along. Up next, query letters. As Daniel Day Lewis would say "I WILL FIND YOU." Meaning, I hope to find an agent soon, either for the Rialto series or the middle grade book. Crossing fingers...NOW.

Another Park City Visit - This Time Zip Line

2011-08-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

For some reason we bring the dare on whenever we're in Utah. Maybe it's because the air smells great and our lungs are expanding further than normal. Maybe it's because our plane rides in are almost always fraught with danger and we're just excited to be alive. Or maybe it's just because all the other places we visit for work aren't twenty minutes away from a cool playground like Park City.

This time we finished work and headed up to for a ride down the zip line. Looking back, it doesn't seem all that daring, but on the chair ride up, we were a little on the FREAKED OUT side. To our right, as the lift gently rose up to the top of the hill, there were screaming people. We were intending to be one of them and since we hadn't done this before, we had no idea what to expect.

I can tell you what to expect...about thirty seconds of speed. It was a lot of fun and just the right end to the day.

I don't know what she was worried about, since she'd just been sky diving.

At this point I was wondering whether I could video tape. I really wish I had.

The zip line ran through here.

The end of the zip line. The u shaped black rubber bands slowed us down.

We had to eat afterward. I mean, after you've screamed your guts out, you need to refuel.

Anniversary Kayak Trip

2011-08-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

For our anniversary this year I wanted to kayak the sea caves in La Jolla. It sounded like a wonderful adventure, full of mystery and beautiful scenery. As the event neared, the situation with my father became more serious and I began to dread the trip, didn't want to be away from him. Ultimately I'm glad we went, because if we hadn't we would not have this ridiculous story to tell.

First, it was true sea kayaking where you have to paddle through the surf to reach the clear ocean. Second, the caves were not something you could kayak through (which for some reason was what I had been envisioning). And Third, I looked like a total knob with my blue helmet and red life vest.

I managed to paddle out into the ocean fine. It was coming back in that I took a wave wrong and was thrown, sputtering into the ocean.

Total Knob.

I was very seasick by this point and disappointed that we wouldn't be paddling past high canyon walls into shadowy caves. Disappointment and swells = Dry heaving.

There they are...the caves...dang blast them.

Just tie a line to me and drag me in...Uhhhhhhh

Oh, look seals!

Once back on dry land, I felt fine, but was soaked. We had not anticipated this...we hadn't anticipated any of it - so we had to change our clothes in the back seat of the Honda Pilot, which is FYI not very roomy for forty-somethings. I almost gave up and nearly stepped out of the car to pull up my pants. For the sake of my children I battled on. Pull, squinch, pull, shift, pull... Scott's turn was more interesting. At one point a city bus stopped next to the car when he was completely nude. I was outside of the car at this point and thought it was extremely funny. That's right, take a picture, that's MY man.

We later went to the movies and that was when I realized we were sunburned - 3rd degree. We hobbled our way from Cowboys and Aliens to a supermarket to buy aloe and were so desperate we almost applied it while in the checkout line.

Lesson's learned - I don't do well in rough water on the sea. One should always apply sun screen (Ahem, Duh). AND a grown woman should not wear a blue helmet on the ocean. It is offensive and disturbing and I'm surprised that the ecological foundation doesn't have a rule against it.

Been a little while...

2011-08-14T13:28:00.000-07:00

My Dad liked to see something new on my blog every day and I did my best to put the information on here as fast as I could. The past few months he hasn't been feeling well and checked it less and less and I blogged less and less. When he passed last Sunday, (which feels like ages ago), I wasn't sure what the next post should be. It has been a rough summer, hard to stay with routines, hard to concentrate, hard to smile.

But it is true what they say about family gatherings healing the soul. Friday was the service and it was so wonderful to see everyone. I have a great family.

I had a great Dad.

The Beach

2011-07-23T21:37:00.000-07:00

We went to the beach today and witnessed the confluence of two lives. They came from separate worlds, they shared a moment...and it all went horribly wrong.

First, a man of bronze - who we shall call George for obvious reasons - lying on the beach, a confident man, a proud man...a man who has seen too much sun. My husband pointed him out to me and I gasped. Thankfully the roar of the sea prevented George from hearing my not too nice comments about his blue swim trunks, gold jewelry and GASP white socks ("Why George, why?").

Then we spied a tiny pug - whom I have dubbed Duke the Brave (after John Wayne, who let no criminal go unpunished...pilgrim) - prancing down the beach next to his rotund owner. He was wearing a life vest, because should the tide come rushing in, his little puggish legs would not be strong enough to swim back to shore, but no leash.

Duke spotted George. Duke went to investigate George. Duke thought George smelled a little funny, so Duke licked George's face vigorously. George (who had been peacefully dozing) wasn't too happy about this and made it known. But having done his job, Duke skipped off down the beach thinking to himself "A thorough washing is the only kind of washing."

2011-07-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

My sister was married in a wonderful ceremony that cleaned out tear ducts and provided us an opportunity to hug, hug, hug, hug...cry...hug, hug, hug each other. I have always thought of both of my sisters as beautiful, but to be honest, they have never been more beautiful than on this day. From morning to night, our hearts were filled with genuine contentment. We had no concerns. She was marrying a wonderful man who has a wonderful family who we honestly love. Friends and family we don't get to see very often attended and we enjoyed every minute.

The weekend started with a fun evening at my mother's house. My Uncle provided wonderful guidance during the dinner - because without him how would we have known what to do? I mean, pizza can be so confusing.

Me with my Uncle, my cousin and his son...my other cousin - Three generations.

Then the next day I picked up my Aunt and sister and we all trooped over to the bride's house to make bouquets and flower displays. On the way we picked up Del Taco - appropriate wedding day food. Once everything was put together we transported everything to the park, meeting the groom and his brothers as well as other friends and family who were there to set up the chairs and orchestra equipment.

There was a brief moment of humor as my children and I helped a family friend move a large canopy. We were like Pooh with a giant blue balloon as we maneuvered the canopy through the park, unsure of where to place it. Eventually we decided to just leave it close to the general area we thought it might be needed. Then we scrambled in the opposite direction hoping no one saw us leave it there. "I have no idea how it got there, I swear...the wind?"

The ring bearer. He was very proud of this responsibility and showed off the rings to everyone who asked to see them.

We did not rehearse and had no idea what the bride wanted us to do. We only knew we were to stand up with them. So when the music began, we all trooped out, trying not to trip, cry or look foolish.

The pastor conducting the ceremony did an amazing job. He made us laugh with the retelling of how the groom's brothers hunted down my sister on Facebook, worried that their brother might be hanging with the wrong woman. Then the groom made us cry by reading a letter to my niece about how much he looked forward to being part of her family.

My father, at first unsure that he'd be able to say the toast after the ceremony, found that the friendship, joy and goodwill gave him the strength to say what he needed to. After the reception, the family headed to my house for the after party. We surprised our new family with a disco dance performance. We had practiced so much (in four inch heels) that my toes were blistered. They were properly appreciative and we laughed along with them.

Oh, and I got to see this woman. My beautiful Grandma.

Very wonderful time and can't stop smiling about the entire weekend.

February Description

2011-07-07T18:21:00.001-07:00

Assignment for class - 45 word or less description. Here's mine:

Samantha Rialto learned everything she knows about surveillance photography from Skipper Turnbuckle, a private eye with a bum reputation. Since last month’s job they haven’t spoken. But a bomb, a shooting and a voice-mail has her seeking the old investigator out…and wishing she hadn’t.

Disneyland Birthday Party

2011-07-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

Before Star Tours - Best...Ride...Ever...in my humble opinion.

Alone - I'm left to my own devices...which aren't really devices at all, they're more like survival instincts.

Waiting for the Autotopian girls, I ran into my nemesis. Thankfully there were several tiny Jedi to dispatch him.

Waiting for the raft to take us to Pirate Island.

PIRATE: Arrrrrggg ya gonna get me fast past tickets for Soarin' or what woman?

We forced the boys to go on the new Little Mermaid Ride. They were not happy.

Parting Shot

2011-06-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

Jake decorated his cake. A face for every person in his family. All ten of us.

Last week my little boy turned ten and tomorrow my little girl turns into a teenager. I can't believe how fast the years have flown by. The night before Sarah was born I couldn't sleep. So nervous, excited, anxious...and then she was there and she was beautiful. We brought her home to enjoy summer in Denver. We didn't have air conditioning and I sat in front of a portable swamp cooler for weeks. Poor thing, she couldn't wear any of the cute clothes people bought her cause she was so hot. She also never slept. Literally. One night several weeks in, she slept for a straight six hours and I panicked thinking something was wrong. Most of the time, however, she was just awake and happy. Always happy. Even today, she wakes up smiling, bright eyed and ready to face the world. (She's also very talkative and since none of the rest of us are morning people, this is sometimes taxing.)

I love you Sarah. I love you Jake. Very lucky to be your mom.

Mississippi in Minnesota

2011-06-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

Lovely ladies lounging while the men worked on getting us out of the dock.

More pretty women. Note the blanket. Wedding present to Sam.

Our hosts. Thank you!!! It was wonderful.

It was a little chilly. Again, note the blanket.

The top of a fountain in the Munsinger Clemens Gardens.

John's shirt kills me.

We liked this garden the best. Our colors.

Went out on the Mississippi river today. Was so beautiful...and a little chilly. My cheeks feel pink (most likely burnt). The little ones were bopping around on the pontoon boat like it wasn't moving so we went back and dropped them off. But after floating about for a bit more, we were ready for lunch. Went to a brewery and sampled eight beers. I only liked one (lightest of lightest ales...not surprising), and drank it all, leaving the rest for my capable future brother. After filling ourselves to the brim, we went to the Munsinger Clemens Gardens, which were planted by a man who wanted to make a beautiful garden for his wife. She was disabled and couldn't get out of the house, so he brought beauty to her. From her front porch she could enjoy them.

In the winter she saw mostly snow, I imagine.

Tonight we are going into town to eat dinner at Psycho Suzi's Motor Lounge and Tiki Garden.

Sorry for the typos yesterday. Tired and typing too fast.

2011-06-25T22:28:00.000-07:00

Brothers...geesh. :) Love them.

Stacy and John enjoying the Minnesota park.

Camera hounds, the three of us. We took several self portraits.

Today was the Minnesota reception for my sister's wedding. The weather started out cloudy and then it sprinkled, but finally the sun shone down through fluffy white clouds. Thankfully there was no humidity (or very little...). We were able to visit with all of my new brother-in-law's family (all 480,000 of them) and I cut another cake!! This time Stacy helped and I didn't end up a complete embarrassment. The brothers and sisters said a few words and then we chowed down on what was the most delicious fried chicken that I've tasted in a very long time. Family we haven't seen for a long while showed up and I once again marveled at how great my family is.

The after party at my new brother's parents' house was relaxing and fun. The state bird wasn't too bad and after I was thoroughly hosed down with bug spray ("Close your eyes, don't breathe, don't open your mouth") I didn't have any issues. The brothers sang and danced for us, Blues Brothers style. They had the moves, the words (yes, I videoed it Mom). They were AWESOME! Mandy disappeared on an ATV with Alex for a bit. We ate again, told stories, laughed till we cried.

Tomorrow we are going out on the lake!

Vacation time!

2011-06-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

Preparing for the scavenger hunt in the park. No one was able to get a picture of a bald man.

Alex and Jake

Metal sculpture in Dallas. The woman I was with was driving at the speed of sound, so I'm lucky I managed to get this photo.

Going on vacation is very stressful. By noon on the last day of work it seems as if the to-do list grows exponentially. Today at two o'clock my whiteboard was covered in last minute essential items...one of which involved a spreadsheet (and we all know that required much more brainpower than I was capable of, we're lucky it was legible at all). But, on the flip side, when you can turn your computer off and sit down at the dinner table facing five seven solid days off, the deep breath and cold beer are WONDERFUL.

This will be one of the busier weeks off, but hopefully filled with a great deal of joy.

Happy Father's Day Again!

2011-06-19T09:49:00.000-07:00

My favorite father moment was the World Series Game in 1988. Bottom of the 9th, Kirk Gibson hit a two-run homer to win the game and turn the tide in the series. The Dodgers went on to beat the A's in what was arguably the best championship competition ever. I stood next to my dad in the stands, crying and dancing with thousands of others for what seemed like forever (and was in fact almost ten minutes straight). The injured Gibson came out for at least two waves, because we just wouldn't sit down. I've never seen my dad like that. He was astonished, laughing, happy, triumphant...dancing with glee. Best father daughter day ever. Love you Dad.

Ready for battle...

2011-06-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

Behind my lovely family above is the neighbor's house. I am currently at war with them. They have decided to store various concrete machinery and transportation vehicles (including a forklift) in their drive-way. Since they have about thirty people living there, there are few places for them to park and unfortunately I am unable to paint my curb a color that would visually indicate "For friends and family only, thank you, please park somewhere else, especially you with the 1972 motor home, because that is just wrong." So last week, after being out all day with my lovely sister (above) I parked in front of their house and casually strolled over to mine. Since they had the motor home and another car taking up my curb, I felt absolutely no shame.

They didn't much like my outburst of parking pride and retaliated by throwing a block party in their front yard, replete with loud music, copious alcohol consumption, raucous laughter, and entertainment in the form of a tiny dog running round a tiny cage. Ahhh...neighbors. They did, however, move the motor home (down the street, alongside someone else's house) and since that time they haven't parked one car in front of my house. Not one. So maybe my message was received.

Because surely they understand that my next step would be to install a sprinkler system powered by a small diesel engine and set to automatically deposit gallons of water on any car (and the person exiting the car) parking in front of my house without my consent (in the form of an electronically delivered code a la Stargate Iris Codes). I would install the system high enough so that it would deluge a vehicle as large as a bus (which I am fully expecting next, given that they seem to be duplicating like rabbits).

I would like to be here today...

2011-06-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

That is all I have to say.

Rebellion

2011-06-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

I am the oldest child of the oldest child. I've always felt a great deal of pressure to set an example for the others who followed me, to "always do the right thing" (as Spike Lee would say), and to set my feet squarely on the ground, put one foot in front of the other, not fall flat on my face...

All of these are good things, but sometimes you just have to rebel. And even if it takes you several years, two children and three dogs later, you just have to do it. So today, I did it. I bucked conformity, the right way, the good way - I did things wrong and I'm a better person for it.

First, I mailed three letters with the stamps on upside down. It was liberating.

Second, I added two items to my to-do list, exceeding my never to be exceeded total, knowing full well, that I would not accomplish either of them. It felt devilish.

And third (and don't tell my sister or my mother who is in vegan hell right now) I had a latte with dairy instead of soy. It was, well, it was a little uncomfortable later, but at the time it was daring.

So now, as I once again procrastinate by fiddling with things other than Book Two (A Bomb in February, coming in September, how's that for radical??!!) I am filled with thoughts of other rebellious acts I could partake in over the coming days. Watch out world...I know you're scared...I am too...but it's time to put on my big girl underwear and make a mess of things.

Weekend Culture

2011-06-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

Saw Mamma Mia in San Diego this weekend with my Aunt. It was an early birthday present to each other. I had never seen it before and was very much looking forward to it. And it did not disappoint. The lead actress was phenomenal - Kaye Tuckerman. After the show we panicked for a few moments as we realized we had failed to note what level of the parking structure we were parked on. Since there were about four hundred people waiting for two elevators, we knew that if we guessed wrong it would spell doom (or at least a really long wait for an empty car).

At our pre-show Mexican lunch. Mmmmm.

But fortunately for us, the loud, Tammy Faye Baker look-alike we had ridden down with before the play started was waiting just a few feet away. Bravely I stepped forward, tapped her on her sequined shoulder and asked what floor she was going to. She was very nice, laughed loudly and with vigor and possibly a smokers cough and happily informed us that we were parked on level three.

Happened across a car show this morning on our way to breakfast and saw this:

See Jake? He's mad because he wants to go to breakfast and I wanted to take a picture of the cute SWAT guy.

Check out the thigh attached side arm. Research opportunity for me, and I did not waste the opportunity.

The local police were giving a demonstration on K9 take downs and there were rookies providing crowd control. One of them looked about sixteen and he was yelling into his radio, in obvious exasperation, at another rookie (only about five feet away, mind you). That other rookie (who looked like he might also work as a stand-in for Paul Blart, the mall cop) hiked up his pants and went running away from us. I wondered if there was a scuffle somewhere that required immediate attention, but sadly after he ran away, I lost track of him and didn't see any hubbub.

And then we saw this...pure awesomeness.

Writing Funny

2011-06-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

As I've said before I'm taking a class on how to write funny. The instructor is very patient with us as he explains (sometimes over and over again) why things work and how to go about structuring sentences, paragraphs and scenes for maximum effect. During an exercise in class Thursday night we were asked to write for ten minutes with the prompt "What came before the Big Bang." What I wrote made me giggle so I thought I'd share (and for reference I do not know a body builder named Chad from Texas...but I would like to).

I've often wondered what occupied the space we exist in before there was, well, space. My mind simply doesn't work the way a scientist's does and I cannot fathom quantum realities, multiple dimensions or gravitational pulls. Besides, those topics are boring to most attractive men and, if we're being honest, I don't want to be the one in the corner of the room conversing with the guy who has the "great mind." I'd rather be knocking back a beer with Chad, the body builder from Texas, guessing that the big bang was really the after effects of God's trip to the Mexican buffet. Because really, who knows? Certainly not Chad who, not surprisingly, has a theory of his own. "I think we are an alien's zit and got popped." "Holy crap," I say, clutching my beer. Chad nods sagely and continues. "A really smart alien who ate a lot of spicy food, cause we're all so different." I choose not to remind my new boyfriend Chad that the universe consists of more than just us, spicy pimple people.

Alex

2011-06-02T17:01:00.000-07:00

My niece is awesome. I am a lucky Aunt. Here is her mom and her at graduation today.

I also learned today what not to do at ceremonies. First, do not bring a cow bell. They are annoying and make you look stupid. Second, do not bring an air horn. They are annoying and make you look stupid. And Third, do not bring an umbrella. They are annoying and make you look...well, ridiculous. All three of things might also incite riots and barely contained verbal assaults from members of my family.

More than you want to know...

2011-05-31T21:27:00.000-07:00

The past few days I've been working hard to make up for the sloth that was the previous four weeks by exercising every chance I get. Saturday was a two mile walk to the Habit for lunch (I had a salad). Sunday was the two mile hike on the Chumash Trail (which as previously discussed nearly killed me). Yesterday was a four and a half mile trek on the route in my neighborhood we like to call the Thanksgiving Walk (during which we discussed ideas for Steam-punk stories). And today was Zumba ZUMBA (which since I can't dance AT ALL was hell for everyone but me). I especially enjoy the part where you have to flick your butt backward. Thankfully it was just Mandy behind me, because I get a bit too aggressive with that move. It's dark too, so that helps (although Sarah still said I embarrassed her).

If this were a video game I would get a trophy entitled *Embarrassed your child while demonstrating wild, abandoned dance moves.*Ching!*

I'm making progress on Pirates Lego's, still beating Jake by twenty percent with only 19 more percentage points to go till I finish in a blaze of Lego glory.

Watched Space Shuttle Endeavor launch and plan on watching her land tonight. Since she's going to be housed in California it seems only right to see the beginning and ending of her last flight. (Plus you really can't wear the crown of super-geek unless you experience chills when the astronaut radios Houston and says the "Commander is downstairs putting on his suit.")

Editing chapter seven of February - in which we get to know Skipper a little bit better and Sam buys him a drink. Calamity is sure to befall them. (Spoiler alert.)

Kansas, a hike and news...of a sort

2011-05-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

First Kansas - Stayed in a different location, the Plaza.

Nice green area to walk dog or hike...I did neither of these things.

Over several doors - reminded me of tile work in the 20's.

This is the little sculpture called - Quiet Talk or Time...

The weather on Thursday was amazing. Blue sky and warm air. It has been a few months since I could head out of a hotel in the morning for a walk, so I did not miss my chance. I passed a bronze of a warthog which is one of only three replicas of a similar bronze warthog in Florence. You're supposed to rub it's nose and drop a coin (for a children's charity). I didn't have a coin on me and there was a Zeus sculpture right nearby so I didn't rub the warthog for fear he would smite me. Next time, Zeus, I will not fear you.

A few blocks away I found a coffee shop called Land e Latte and ordered a mocha with soy. I'm not a fan of mocha with soy. Would rather have milk, but since I can't have milk, I had soy. To compensate for this I had a beer in the airport prior to my flight (which is pretty rare for me). I'm not sure why the beer balanced out the soy, but it did. Sadly it was Bud Light and I'm not a fan of Bud Light. Tonight, however, I plan on having two Miller Lites to compensate. Again, not sure why the math works out with regard to cosmic balancing, but not questioning it.

This morning Mandy, Jake and I went on a hike.

Throwing rocks.

We made it to the mile marker and stopped to pass out and vomit. Okay, that was just me. The other two started throwing rocks at a tall flower about 20 feet down the ravine. The goal was to hit the stalk. We were at it for some time when a very nice couple stopped by to join us. Eventually it was just us again and when Mandy finally struck it we all screamed. From far away, the other couple screamed back at us in congratulations.

I need to explain the passing out comment. The Chumash Trail heads straight up for the first half mile and then there is another straight up portion. I'm terrible for the first mile. Then I burp, get a second wind and am fine for the next three. I swear. Happens every time. Too much information?

And finally, the news. Thanks to friends, family and word of mouth, I've sold over 60 books in the first month on line (Amazon and Barnes and Noble - love them). I can't wait to entertain them with February (whose edits are coming along nicely).

PSS - Apparently I have spelled caterpillar wrong somewhere. To know how much this makes me giggle, is to know the story of my youth (and most of adulthood) and my inability to pronounce this poor creatures name. Should be simple, but simple is boring and calerpitter is so much more descriptive.

It's raining again

2011-05-25T20:20:00.000-07:00

In Kansas City. It's been raining off and on all day and right now the rain is pouring down in sheets outside my hotel window. The hotel I'm in was originally built as an apartment building in the 1920's. It is in an interesting area of town called the Plaza. Here and there along the street are various sculptures and artwork. One was a woman holding a child with the title "Quiet Time".

The flight in was surprisingly uneventful. This was my view across most of Kansas...

Then we started our descent. I was admittedly a little nervous after all of the horrible tornadoes over the past few days. Also, it looked like this...

But it was a very smooth landing. After landing I learned that sirens were going off in various areas of town, but thankfully not where I was.

Hula

2011-05-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

Waitress standing in background seems kind of miffed that I didn't let her take our picture. Self portraits are so much more fun.

Hula Hut

Lunch today at a fun restaurant on the lake/river in Austin. Good time, good company.

Working in the airport would be so much easier without the rock band playing at a volume defying logical explanation Note to Austin airport - if I have to yell at my neighbor to be heard two gates away from where band is playing, it is too loud. And note to self - settle down, take the Tylenol and chill.

Mexican Food

2011-05-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

My family makes the best Mexican food. Period. End of story. If you have tasted one of my Mom's, Grandma's or Uncle's tacos then you have tasted greasy, tasty greatness.

But, I have to say that Pappasito's Cantina is an okay substitute. I've been to a few now, but to be honest, the one here in Austin has been the best so far. And I'm not just saying that because they gave me a free diet coke while I waited. (Loved that!)

After eating my weight in chips I proceeded to read my friend's story, edit one of mine and sign up for my next UCLA course (this time much more serious). Was able to watch the season finale of NCIS (I really thought they were going to kill Palmer, and who is the one Tony has to spy on????).

More Austin fun tomorrow.

If there was a contest I would win.

2011-05-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my hotel watching Matrix for the first time. I can remember when it came out and why I chose not to see it. The story is good, but the execution is just okay. Very serious. I wonder if there was ever a parody of it.

If there was a weekly contest for poor flight experiences I would win. First, the nice (read the sarcasm in that) TSA agent informed me that they were short staffed. This was after I noted that no one was responding to the scanner's call for "Bag check". Since I was looking at four of them all standing near her and not reacting or even seeming like they heard her, my comment "Can none of you re-run the bag?" seemed appropriate. One TSA agent made sure we knew that they were all at their proper posts, because there were so many of us going through the metal detector and not standing there immobilized because there was no one to re-run the bag of the lucky sod who managed to get through before this blockade occurred. She then proceeded to remind us all in her nicest voice that if we just threw out all the liquids, removed our laptops, stripped naked in the halls they wouldn't have to re-run bags.

But, I contained myself. I rolled my eyes and entertained the pilot standing next to me.

My flight was delayed. No big deal. My flight was full. No big deal. Two little people sat next to me. They were super sweet - so that was cool. A tiny person (maybe six months) and his older brother (two) sat behind me and cried the entire flight. A man a few rows ahead brought his cat who screeched the whole flight. About five other couples brought babies of varying volumes. There was nothing I could select on my iPod to drown out the sound.

So I believe I win the contest this week.

Travel Tip

2011-05-13T23:18:00.000-07:00

Fly in the morning. Trust me.

Exhibit A - Chicago in the morning on Wednesday. See the clear sky?

Same sky at 4:30pm, two hours before I would take off - or rather try to take off. After this, tornado sirens sounded, lightening split the sky and wind buffeted the plane I was sitting in while the worst of the storm blew through.

Young woman next to me was hugging a pillow pet. Sweet? Indication of mental instability? I'm going with sweet, because she didn't try to engage me in conversation, didn't make annoying sniffling or coughing noises, and was nice when I woke her up to turn the alarm off on her BlackBerry.

Movie Gas Station

2011-05-08T17:19:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, possibly last week, maybe...whatever...Sarah and I passed a gas station with a fire truck and several police cars in front of it. The entire area was marked off with caution tape and cones. Since this was the same gas station where someone was shot to death several years ago, one could easily assume that there was a real crime going on. But we were not fooled. We know there's no 'real' crime in Los Angeles, only pretend crime and our first thought was "Film Set!" And we were right. Duh.

Sarah took this picture for me as we passed it by on our way home. No idea what show. A similar situation happened to me in Valencia a month or so ago when I saw an NCIS van parked on the side of the road. First thought - "My favorite show!" - Second thought - "Could be real." - Third thought - "Don't be ridiculous."

Los Angeles Book Fair

2011-05-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

We missed seeing Rick Springfield and since Mandy and I were prepared to sing "Jesse's Girl" to the absolute mortification of my son, it is a real shame that our paths did not cross. Found out Mr. Springfield was nabbed for drunk driving later that night. Could it be that he was so depressed at not witnessing our 80's greatness, that he made a stupid error of judgement and will forever pay for it with his damaged reputation? Possibly. Possibly.

Patton Oswalt Pontificating

Us - laughing at the Goth Girls

We did stumble across Patton Oswalt reading from his new book. It was funny, but only mildly so, that is until two girls in the front row ran away from a bee. They were completely punked out - tattoos, badly died hair, skirt over tights, bizarre sleeve styling, etc. Mr. Oswalt railed on them for a good ten minutes. "Two goth girls, running away from a bee..." He suggested that they go to J. Crew and get some khakis and pinks and have their tattoos burned off, that Vampire Lestat would have just let the bee sting him and reveled in the pain, and that this was the most Vitamin D they were going to have all year - back to the brooding dark... It was very funny.

While this year wasn't as fun as years gone by, I did buy a book that looked wonderful and is wonderful - Lost and Found by Shaun Tan.

Speaking of books, mine should be on Amazon tomorrow. For those of you who purchased it off of the Barnes and Noble site, I did fix a couple of obvious errors. Only those who have edited for hours will understand my abject horror at having an error on page two. I would grow tired and bald while I explained to you how that happened. So let's just never speak of it again. If you did download it, you can reload the corrected version at no cost.

Red Egg and Ginger Party

2011-05-01T21:56:00.000-07:00

Newly wed and new parents.

Photo by Matty

Another Matty photo.

Matty captures my eating experience.

My dear, dear friend had a baby a few months ago and last night was baby TJ's Red Egg and Ginger Party. Since we'd been to her wedding many years ago, we had an idea of what to expect. The food, the lions, the speeches; they were all wonderful.

Early in the dinner I made friends with my three year old neighbor, Matty. He was nice enough to take over the photo taking responsibility and managed to catch some really good moments (and a lot of moments covered up by tiny fingers). He and I agreed that while the lions were pretty, they were very loud. Also, since we both narrowly missed being pelted by flying cabbage, we were grateful that they were finally herded from the building.

I am not someone you should invite to unique culinary experiences. My dear friend knows this and I'm pretty sure she makes me go just so she can mock me later. Last night was no exception. I did enjoy the rice and the chicken (not necessarily the chicken head).

But the whole night was about baby TJ and the parents did a great job of keeping the focus on the little man. From the pictures on the tables (that my son has now put on his nightstand), to the slides that were playing on the walls (that Matty kept making sure I looked at), we all were there to say "YAY! We're so glad you are here little guy." And we are. My new nephew is beautiful, bright and precious. And I love him.

It is a good day...

2011-05-01T21:41:00.001-07:00

I do not celebrate death, but I am proud of those that worked so hard to protect us, defend us and bring the person responsible for so much horror to justice, no matter the method.

AAANND Finally...

2011-04-29T22:19:00.000-07:00

IT'S ALIVE!!! The Barnes and Noble website has my book on it. I'm so excited I can't stand it.

As we speak, my children are celebrating this joyous event by arguing with each other as they begin their bedtime routine. This requires pounding on the wall between their bedrooms to emphasize their various points of view. Since this action hurts their hands, the pounding is accompanied by flinching sounds of "Ow" and "Ouch." Sarah called me in to ask me once again why I birthed her brother. And Jake wanted me to see his green...well, let's just not talk about it.

So, as I step forward, into a glorious future of Sam and Maxie adventures I'll always know that if I need a break, or maybe a fall-back career, I have a bright future as a youth mediator. (I know this because peace reigned when I threatened to give their iPods to the first person to walk by the house tomorrow....I'm a genius.)

Easter

2011-04-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

Was amazing fun. My Aunt's house is the site of my annual attempt at winning our family's full contact egg hunt. Every year I predict my success and every year I come up short. Miserably short.

It's so bad that I don't even bother looking at the prizes. There's no point. By the time I get to pick only antibiotic ointment, a stack of magazines and a set of coasters will be left. If it is Neosporin I'd go with the ointment. Good value.

This year was no different. At one point I found myself aimlessly following my cousin and bantering back and forth about a stick I'd cleverly picked up so I could remove an egg from inside a tangle of cactus branches. While I was bantering, he managed to find ten eggs (one of which I gave him because it was behind an air conditioner and got stuck in a spider web).

Whatever.

Note - You can also download a free Nook reader for your pc or mac. Go here.

Final revisions...

2011-04-23T20:24:00.000-07:00

I was able to format the type, chapter headings, margins, borders, page numbers, and first line of chapter indents today. In mass paperback book format, January Kills Me is 261 pages...of pure awesomeness. (I'm practicing my confident voice.)

I read aloud the first five chapters catching a missing 'as' and a set of quotation marks that were facing the wrong direction. I eliminated unnecessary words, changed one 'little' to 'somewhat' and in general spruced the whole thing up. Tomorrow on the long drive down to San Diego, I will attempt to do more editing, but I can't promise that, since I'll be working myself up to once again attempt to win the Annual Easter Egg Huntastic.

My website is 80% complete with only one page left to edit before I can release it to the public. All the pictures are placed and I managed to find one photo of myself that looks slightly professional in nature.

If I keep this up, I may make my May 1st deadline. No, I WILL make my deadline.

Um...

2011-04-22T18:39:00.001-07:00

Not sure why I titled my last post 'Websites'. I think there was a reason, but it escapes me now, as it obviously did then.

Websites

2011-04-22T17:29:00.000-07:00

I'm taking another class at UCLA. Similar to the last one, I enjoyed the second night of class much more than the first. This one is on writing with a comedic slant. My assignment this week is to write a public paper in defense of flossing. I've decided to write "Front Line Flossing - An Urgent Memorandum On the State of Our Soldier's Gums." I'll let you know how it turns out.

I think this cover is better. Sorry you couldn't see the other two options, Dennis, and thanks to all of you for voting. I saw some books in the grocery store and they all had silver lettering for the title of the books so I'm going to mimic that.

Two nights ago I thought I was having an allergy attack. I woke my husband up and forced him to change the sheets. Cursing at the dogs for shedding and using profanity in a muttering sort of way, I threw all of the offensive sheets in a heap on the floor and went back to sleep. Only to wake up the next morning with a cold. Proof once more that karma will bite me when I rail unjustly against others.

Special note - If you don't have an e-reader, you can download a free Kindle Reader for your pc or Mac. This information is another reason why I need to attend classes that start with thirty minutes of bizarre tidbits of information you don't need to know EVER. Hidden amidst it all are gems like the one above.

Which cover do you like best?

2011-04-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

One?

Two?

Three?

I know they are all very similar, but you must judge and if you don't like any of them, well, that's fine too. Just let me know what in particular throws you off.

As for me? I'm partial to Two.

And yes, this means we are getting closer. Website almost ready to go live.

Progress

2011-04-18T19:27:00.000-07:00

He's crying a little.

I removed dairy from my diet a week ago. For the most part I have not cheated (tartar sauce, birthday cake, yogurt pretzels aside). Feeling less like a giant bloated gas monster I now roam the land in search of converts. The sacrifice is great - no chocolate, no cereal, no lattes, no cheese, no yogurt...

*slaps hand to face* Had tacos tonight with cheese...will suffer later.

The other item I removed from my diet was General Hospital. I stopped watching it three weeks ago. Why? Because it is boring. Contrary to what popular ABC decision makers would think, however, I'm not going to replace it with reality or talk show viewing. If you ask me, and they won't, they ought to think about today's viewers as needing highly charged shots of serialized, save the world drama. With the ability to green screen and computer generate complex scenery, I'd say combine the antics of Top Gear, the fun of Stargate Atlantis, and the killer chemistry of NCIS and Castle and wha-la - television history.

Final update for the day - Pen Name is Evan Katy. This should work for both the Rialto series and the youth (boy) chapter science fiction series (which is up for editing next). Twitter page is already updated and once I put January Kills Me on PubIt there will be a web page for me. The goal for this? May 1st. Will I succeed? Why yes!!

Things to do in the rain...

2011-04-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

View from my hotel in Seattle

Pub we had dinner. GREAT food.

I've seen the car wash above several times, but this time I remembered to take a picture of it. So cute.

It rained nearly the entire time we were in Seattle. A perfect rain - light, intermittent, sun shining through the clouds. Rain stops nothing in Seattle and no one has an umbrella. The air smells fresh, the wind is clean and everywhere you look - green. In just a few weeks the trees will all leaf out and I wish I could be there to see it.

During this trip we drove to Issaquah. We almost had lunch at a small brewery there, but the atmosphere of the town reminded us a little of the movie 'Footloose.' Since we are the type of people who would stand in the corner dissing the yokels who were full of repressed longing to dance, we decided to leave before we caused trouble. And though I would have danced, trust me when I tell you that if it wasn't already, dancing would have been outlawed had anyone in that town seen me in my wild abandon.